Unique Skill: Duel-Wielding
by rhynium
Summary: Kirito wasn't too confident in his gaming-acquired English vocabulary, but even still he was pretty sure that that must be a typo in the mysterious skill he just acquired.
1. Chapter 1

It was a dark and stormy knight. In an obscure corner of «Floor 36», a black-haired youth regarded his opponent with a weary eye.

"Will this… be my last…" the boy gasped as he struggled to stand up, but the ominous warrior made no response except to stride closer to the fallen form.

Pitch black metal shielded every square inch of its body, so dark as to seem to suck the light out of the surrounding glade and cast it into shadow, despite the toasty afternoon sun shining persistently from above. Occasionally, a visor would pull back to reveal a battle-scarred face sporting a very, _very_ angry visage. Truly, this was a frightening foe to behold.

Or at least, it _was_ frightening to behold until it was beheaded with one fell swoop of a blade, bursting into shards of glass polygons. After all, there was no doubt of the outcome of an encounter between a simple Mook of a «Floor 34» dungeon and a Level 82 "Clearer", even if said Clearer was exhausted from farming these mobs over the past day and a half. Kirito _really_ wanted that elusive drop.

It was not until this thousandth-or-so kill that the stubborn boy was finally graced with «Darkshine Alloy» in his inventory. Which was almost immediately discarded when a shaky finger nearly pressed the «Waste» button by accident.

"Yes… FINALLY!" Kirito slumped to the ground in an undignified heap, not for the first time, but certainly for the last of this RNGdamned hunt. He knew he should probably haul himself to a bed somewhere lest he awaken with a very painful crick in his neck, but his muscles refused to entertain any thoughts of moving. In fact, his brain didn't seem capable of thought anymore either.

Hours later, as the solo player snoozed peacefully on the grassy floor of the «Helgen Forest Ruins», a small low-level party would chance upon the curious spectacle of what appeared to be a squad of «Fallen Knights» taking turns skewering a pale derrière jutting provocatively up from the ground. Silica never left her room for an entire week thereafter.

* * *

"Black, please!"

"Ugh, what a depressing color. Don't you think this emerald green is already-"

" _Black_."

"… hmph! Fine, have it your way! Don't come crying to me when everyone laughs at you later." And with that, the surly tailor retreated into the back room with a «Darkshine Alloy» and «Draken Leggings» in hand.

Kirito tapped his foot impatiently from his position against the counter. Normally he would have gone to the more trusted tailor that he usually visited for his combat clothing, but the current emergency forced him to stay on «Floor 34». He recalled waking up earlier in the day with an important piece of his costume apparently having shattered from durability loss due to the… to the…

His face flushed a beet red. No. Argo was _not_ hearing about this. Ever.

Luckily, he had recently picked up the impressive «Draken Leggings» from «Floor 56», which if upgraded with care would likely last him another ten floors. He would have long since equipped it already if not for its _abominable_ hue. In fact, finding a respectable-looking black dye was the entire reason that Kirito had wasted over two days in the «Helgen Forest Ruins» looking for «Darkshine Alloy». In the hands of even a novice tailor, the material could be transformed into a «Dusk Dye» that could then be applied to his «Draken Leggings» to remedy its current affliction. In the meantime, Kirito was stuck having to protect his decency with some shameful tan leggings that he couldn't recall having picked up before. Of course, he would remain unaware that his decency had already been lost several hours ago.

The back door swung open as the tailor stepped out, tossing the «Draken Leggings» unceremoniously into a trade window.

"There! Now give me the Col and leave! I got lots of orders backed up, you know! … stupid kids these days, no sense of fashion, gonna get hit by a car at night sure enough…" the tailor grumbled irritably as the trade was completed. A few moments later, Kirito strolled happily out of the shop sporting a shiny new pair of pants. Figuratively speaking.

"Okay! It's been two days, so hopefully I'm not too late for the «Floor Boss»…" Kirito swiped his menu open and deftly flicked his way towards his «Inbox». "Hmm… nope. Looks like it hasn't been found yet. Argo would have messaged me if there was a strategy meeting."

His eyes trailed downwards towards the «Skills» section. "Speaking of which…" Kirito tapped the panel and watched as it expanded into his «Skill List». "I wonder how far I got with… _that_ skill…"

He had discovered _that_ skill sitting in his «Skill List» almost half a year ago, but he still hadn't figured out how to use it. The only «Sub-Skill» available at the beginning was passive and didn't appear to benefit him in any way. He was a solo player, after all. And yet, rather than tossing it in favor of «Extended Weight Limit» as he had originally intended to assign to his 8th skill slot back when he reached «Level 50», he couldn't shake the feeling that it might be important to hang on to this particular skill. Even now, there _still_ wasn't even a whisper of a rumor about it yet. And if there was one thing that Kirito learned about RPGs, it was that you should _never_ throw away rare, mysterious items. Or skills in this case.

Luckily due to the nature of the passive «Sub-Skill», the skill pretty much gained proficiency of its own accord whenever he was in town. Perhaps a new «Sub-Skill» might have been unlocked since he last checked? Kirito swiped through his «Skill List» until his fingers settled on the mysterious entry.

«Duel-Wielding: 283/1000»  
«Active Skills: 0»  
«Passive Skills: 1»

"Damn," he muttered. "Still nothing new?" Kirito dismissed his menu with a sigh and turned to walk down the street. If he recalled correctly, there was a restaurant that served a dish that was not unlike miso soup in flavor, though it was recommended not to look directly at the dish due to its rather… unappetizing appearance. In other words, it was the perfect lunch over which he could re-read the skill description for the umpteenth time. Hopefully he would find a clue there to help him figure out what it could be used for. Because clearly he hadn't read it enough.

With a practiced motion, the black-clad swordsman swiped away a green-bordered pop-up message for the 284th time as he stepped into the «Cadaverous Cuisine».

* * *

« _Duel-Wielding_ »  
« _In a melee, one's chances of survival depend less on skill and far more on endurance and luck. A peerless fencer may find himself confident of victory, dominating his adversary on the field, only to stumble against an unaware swordsman behind him and subsequently find himself beheaded with a poorly-aimed strike that should never have connected. But a true master of the art of Duel-Wielding will never allow himself such unfavorable conditions. His control of the battlefield will insure his survival and ensure that his finesse can be applied to its full extent on unworthy foes_ »

* * *

« _Duel Awareness_ »  
« _Passive Skill_ »  
« _Allows the Wielder to become aware of duels in the vicinity and to perceive duels in greater detail. As the Wielder becomes more proficient in the Duel-Wielding Skill, parameters such as the damage dealt by the most recent strike are revealed to the Wielder whilst in a duel if so desired. These parameters can be toggled in the Duel Settings window_ »

"Kirito! Catch him when he falls!" A bright orange blur shot past and dashed up the steps.

"R-right!" Kirito answered as he realized Asuna's intent. The «Player» currently hanging from the window by the treacherous rope was too high to assist from the ground, so she was applying her «Agility» to the max to reach him in time from inside the building.

But Kirito could see his eyes. The player's eyes, though covered in shadow by a heavy visor, were just visible enough for Kirito to perceive as they tracked towards the upper left corner. The corner in which the «Health Bar» was shown. The «Player's» pupils pulsed in fear. _Asuna won't make it in time!_ Kirito realized fearfully.

With a final, terrified gasp, the «Player» shattered into a kaleidoscope of polygons before Kirito's horrified eyes.

How was this possible? A player losing his life in a «Safe Zone»… it was unthinkable! «Sword Art Online» did not support this in its code, he was sure of it! His thoughts raced as Kirito considered the possible ways that a «Player» could die outside of a «Safe Zone», and whether it could be applied to this situation… oh! There _was_ a way for someone to die in a «Safe Zone»! His head snapped up and he stood to address the stunned crowd.

"Quick! Does anybody see a «Duel Victory» message somewhere?!" There was a moment's pause before everyone in the plaza exploded into action to find the offending message window. But it was obvious to Kirito that the crowd was searching in the wrong manner. The simple fact that the message window was not already visible meant that the «Duel» was not initiated in the plaza in plain view, but rather in… one of the scores of buildings surrounding the plaza. There were too many doors to check, and no one had thought of doing so yet!

There was scarcely half a minute before the message window would automatically close. That wasn't enough time for them to search all the buildings, even if Kirito could somehow direct the crowd scurrying around the plaza. There had to be a more efficient way to locate the victory message.

A window appeared in the corner of his «HUD», which he quickly swiped away in annoyance. Now was not the time to be distracted by notifications of… of… Kirito's eyes widened in shocked realization.

He quickly pulled up his menu. That skill… _that_ « _Skill_ »… it was practically made for this situation! Wasn't there an archive of all the «Duels» somewhere in his menu, ever since he first obtained the «Duel Awareness» skill? Frantic fingers flicked through his «Chat History», and after a moment of aimless searching, he realized his oversight and filtered it for «System Messages». His eyes came to rest on a string of words in pale blue.

« _18:42 – A duel between Franz and Nascha will begin in 60 seconds_ »

So their names were «Franz» and «Nascha»… He was pretty sure «Nascha» was a girl's name, so that must mean that the player that… went home… would have been «Franz». Unless it was one of those cases where a male originally created a female «Avatar»? It was not unheard of, and the option to change one's «Username» was only available for a short time after the start of the «Death Game». A grimace formed on Kirito's face. Sick bastard… at least Kayaba was fair enough to give those gender-crossed players a chance to fix their-

Wait.

Onyx eyes studied the message more carefully. Something was off.

« _18:42 – A duel between Franz and…_ »  
« _A duel between Franz and Nascha…_ »  
« _… Franz and Nascha…_ »  
« _A duel between Franz and Nascha will begin in 60…_ »  
« _… between Franz and Nascha will begin…_ »  
« _… will begin…_ »

« _… will begin…_ »

Meaning…

It hadn't ended yet.

Kirito's eyes flicked to the corner of his vision. It was «18:43».

A memory flashed to the forefront of his thoughts. The message window that he dismissed just a minute ago, calling it a distraction… he was reading the «System Message» for the wrong «Duel»!

An angry palm met his forehead as he furiously scrolled further down his «Chat History».

« _18:39 – Exited to Marten_ »  
« _18:30 – Bonus +5% Agility for 1 hour from consuming Decat Wine_ »  
« _18:30 – Bonus +2% Strength for 2 hours from consuming Orker Salad_ »  
« _18:26 – Entered Orchards D'Lite_ »  
« _18:21 – Teleported to Floor 57, Marten_ »  
« _15:54 – The duel between Eugeo and Aaaa has completed. Victor: Eugeo_ »  
« _15:52 – A duel between Eugeo and Aaaa will begin in 60 seconds_ »  
« _14:14 – Bonus +1% HP Regeneration for 6 hours from being well-rested_ »

His fingers stopped drifting down the message log.

 _15:54_ … that was far too long ago, most likely while he was sitting guard over Asuna's sleeping form on «Floor 59». But then… if it wasn't a «Duel», then…

 _Someone had figured out a way to_ « _PK_ » _in a_ « _Safe Zone_ ».

Kirito shivered at the foreboding sensation creeping down his spine. This perfect day of splendid weather was turning out to be not so perfect after all. And the most irritating thing about it, that one thing that violated the «Pride of the Gamer» in him was…

"Who the hell names their avatar «Aaaa» anyway?!" he shouted towards the sky.

…

Several «Floors» away, Silica whirled around as she heard a sneeze from somewhere behind her. After a few moments of confusion, she turned away from the window in favor of paying more tensions to her «Tineberry Cheesecake». She blinked. She could have sworn that Her Precious cheesecake was a delicate baby pink just a few seconds earlier.

Suddenly, the cheesecake shifted and gave an almighty belch, several shimmering bubbles spraying out of a feathered nostril and floating lazily to the ground. Her hands began to shake in fury.

"PINA!"

* * *

« _Provoke_ »  
« _Active Skill: Speak "Duel [Player]", where [Player] is the username of the intended opponent. The opponent may not be further than 10 meters away_ »  
« _Allows the Wielder to send a duel request with a spoken word, rather than by manipulating the menu_ »

A squad of «Players» crept silently along the dungeon walls. If not for the dire situation, one of them would likely have laughed at the sight of heavily-armored tanks playing ninja.

But stealth was of the essence in this vital mission. This would be the only chance that the so-called "Clearers" would get to eliminate the most feared guild in «Aincrad» once and for all. On an unusually clammy day in August of the year 2024, «Laughing Coffin» would be eliminated, never to pose a threat to the people of «Aincrad» any longer.

None of the Clearers present would walk away from the imminent battle unscathed. The guilt of failing to protect their party-mates as they were felled by, not computer-generated «Mobs» or «NPCs» as was the norm, but actual _humans_ – or alternatively, the self-loathing that inevitably came of ending another human's life, even if it was to protect their friends… Indeed, it should be no surprise that all of the Clearers present would ruthlessly suppress any memories linked to this cursed day. Though… for a certain black-haired swordsman, the nature of the trauma would be decidedly different from that of the other Clearers.

Kirito eyed the grim walls suspiciously as he deftly crept around a corner, double- and triple-checking for traps. He knew just how much planning had been devoted to this crusade, yet he still couldn't squash the doubts unfurling in his chest that this mission might be a total bust. The «Players» around him might have been the highest-leveled in «Aincrad», but would that be enough to subjugate «Laughing Coffin»? He was aware of the critical difference between the "Clearers", of which he was one, and the "Red Players" of «Laughing Coffin»: the ability to kill – no, the ability to _murder_. And that might be more than enough for «Laughing Coffin» to surmount the level gap.

A hand rose up in the front ranks. Immediately, all fell still. Several menus flashed into existence moments later, upon which fingers descended and began to fly across holographic keyboards suspended over thin air. Kirito's eyebrows furrowed. Something must have gone wrong in the plan. The menu displays may have been dimmed for this mission, but they still stood out prominently against the dark walls. For the leaders of this crusade to risk being seen at this position so far within «Laughing Coffin's» base… Kirito's fingers fidgeted around the hilt of the partner on his back, then simply settled on gripping it with all the force of a child hugging his teddy bear. It gave him the same sense of security, anyway.

Which was immediately broken as the awful sound of nails screeching down a chalkboard pierced through his ears for a split second – and then it was gone. The Black Swordsman whirled wildly around, searching for the source of the noise, only to notice that no one else had reacted. Rather, the two men next to him were staring at him apprehensively, as if afraid the hand curled around his sword would suddenly begin attacking them of its own accord. Kirito blinked once. Had they not heard anything? Was the pressure making him crack? Were those shadows moving along the wall just a hallucination, or… with a startled cry, he drew the «Elucidator», accidentally bopping someone over the head in his haste.

"BEHIND US!"

The first sound that could be heard after his echoes faded away was the shattering of glass. Then, chaos ensued.

Kirito could barely make sense of the battle as he ducked beneath a deathly green slash and returned the favor with a strike of his own. He wasn't stupid enough to try a «Sword Skill» like the one he just evaded in an encounter like this. He would have to rely on the overwhelming power of his strikes as the probably-highest-leveled «Player» in «Aincrad» to put his foes down. If «Laughing Coffin» thought it was safe enough for them to use «Sword Skills»… Kirito's thoughts had hardly passed through his mind before a sickening yellow edge nearly sliced his arm clean off, and then all conscious thought was abandoned.

Left, slide, stab, parry, another stab, jump, roll and then a strike at a critical spot… his body performed every action flawlessly even before his brain could register the action. It might have been that lag in his conscious thought that prevented him from acting sooner, or it might have been an elaborate ploy by several members of «Laughing Coffin», but with a sudden moment of clarity, Kirito realized that he had been separated from the rest of the Clearers. Three red cursors stalked closer from three directions. Three wicked weapons pointed at three critical points on his «Avatar».

"We've got you now, Black Swordsman!" the figure on the right cackled, his gaudy jewelry jangling in rhythm to his laughs. "Or should I say, Dead Swordsman?! Waha- WAHAHAHA!"

Three heads turned towards the speaker and three eyebrows rose, as if questioning the sanity of the individual.

 _Although_ , Kirito mused internally, _that question might not be entirely unjustified_. Then he yelped as he ducked underneath a swipe that would likely have beheaded him if he were a moment too slow. And with that, the battle resumed in earnest.

Sweat beaded on the young boy's forehead, only to instantly fly off his face from a desperate twist away from an incoming stab. Kirito quickly chained his momentum into a replica of the skill «Horizontal», awarding him a moment's satisfaction as an ugly red gash appeared through the dusty tunic of one assailant. That joy was immediately broken by a blade thrusting in from a blind spot, skewering into his thigh and causing him to stumble unexpectedly into his third opponent who had been readying a fatal blow, knocking them both into the floor.

Kirito cursed and hastily rolled off the downed attacker before he could be grappled. In the corner of his vision, something green abruptly shifted to yellow. In front of him, all three of his attackers still sported green health bars. It didn't help that one of them was giggling psychotically. He gritted his teeth in frustration.

 _These_ « _PKers_ » _… none of them are anywhere near my level, both according to the game and by skill…_ The talented swordsman winced at the sloppy swordplay his foes had presented. _None of them would have survived a second on the frontlines. And yet…_ his thoughts paused as he seized an opportunity to deliver a critical strike, causing his first enemy to fall into the red zone. _And yet, I still can't beat these bastards! In a kendo match I would have wiped the floor with them already, but instead, I-_

A chance misstep on the uneven floor sent an axe-wielder wearing a shabby turban tumbling into his back, interrupting what would have been a decisive strike by the «Elucidator».

 _Damn it!_ Kirito raged in his mind. _Not only is it three on one, but even the floor isn't helping!_ He shifted his sword to his side to parry a slash towards his flank, then hurriedly twisted around an overhead strike to deliver his own attack, though it was evident it would be a futile endeavor. His weapon pinged off the edge of the turban-clad man's large axe. _Sooner or later, this battle is going to end, and it probably won't be in my favor-_

 _«… a true master will never allow himself such unfavorable conditions… »_

The boy blinked. Where did that line come from?

 _«… his control of the battlefield will insure his survival… »_

Oh, right. The «Duel-Wielding» skill. He scoffed. As if the "Red Players" in front of him would peacefully sheathe their weapons and take out bags of popcorn as he challenged one of them to a friendly bout of swordsmanship. _Or actually…_ Kirito's eyes narrowed as a plan took shape in his mind. _Maybe I don't even need them to accept the duel in the first place._

He quickly chose his target. Thanks to Argo's information, he actually recognized one of his assailants, the very same one wearing the bright jewelry who had made the incredibly bad joke at the start of this 3v1 situation. _Well_ , Kirito couldn't resist making a grin. _Guess who the joke's on now?_

The Black Swordsman dashed forward, dipping his blade just below the horizon to telegraph a heavy sideways cut coming in from his victim's left side. As expected, the unfortunate man made to block his flank, and Kirito immediately enacted his plan.

"Duel «PlayerDude»!"

«Player Kirito has challenged you to a duel. Accept?»

"What the f-"

Several voices simultaneously spoke as everyone's head turned towards the innocent window that popped up in front of the player with the turban. Kirito blinked. _Wait, I thought «PlayerDude» was the other-_

And then his blade removed his original target's torso from his legs.

"AARGGHHH!" Golden trinkets shattered against the ground around the fallen man before joining him in a spectacular lightshow of rainbow polygons.

Kirito froze. _Damn it,_ he thought as his mind tried to rationalize the scene that had just unfolded. _I got distracted by the «Duel Request» appearing in front of the wrong person and didn't time my swing correctly…!_ Even as the last twinkle of light danced away from his blade, he mourned the loss of what was likely several +3 magical accessories that must have each cost a fortune.

The young swordsman had no time to dwell on his crime as a horrific crimson thrust of cold steel sent his «HP» clear into the red. Kirito's eyes widened as he saw the turban-clad attacker switch in, a charged «Sword Skill» lighting his axe with a mystical orange shine. His brain quickly predicted its descent and realized that there was a decent chance that he could dodge it if he could just…!

"Duel «PlayerDude»!"

A message window cheerfully sprang into existence in front of «PlayerDude», obscuring his vision just enough for Kirito to roll out of the way under cover. He quickly began to chant the Two Words like a madman. Windows swarmed the hapless murderer even as he screamed in rage.

"GAHHH! I can't see!" The turban flopped dangerously on the «PKer's» head as he attempted to look around the floating «Duel Request» window, but his attempts were in vain as the window's position would refresh at each challenge that Kirito issued.

"Duel «PlayerDude» duel «PlayerDude» duel «PlayDude»«PlareDude»pleh-!"

A gap in the Black Mantra allowed the besieged assailant a moment's respite to successfully «Decline» the duel and take stock of the situation with unobstructed eyes. Though, perhaps "unobstructed" was the wrong word. Dazzling green orbs that many a woman would die to devour now drank in the «Elucidator» in all its glory before the lights went out permanently.

Kirito panted with harsh breaths as yet another «Player» – no, it would be unfair to describe such an axe-crazy fighter as that man as a mere «Player» – yet another «Dude» shattered before him. _That's another powerful weapon lost by my actions…_ And yet it was almost as if the «Elucidator» was calling out for more blood. Even as the exhausted boy struggled to come to grips with his actions, the last of his assailants threw back his head in wild laughter.

"HAHAHA! _Ahhhh~~_! Delicious! Simply… _exquisite_! Yessss~, Kirito- _chan_ ~, you are exactly how I always imagined you to be!" The final fighter opened his arms grandly in what was presumably an inviting hug, but when observed in conjunction with the disturbing expression decorating his face, the sight was enough that even grown men would flee in stark terror. He brought the thin blade in his hands up to his flushed face and licked it with all the zeal of a child with an ice cream cone.

" _More_ , Kirito- _chan_ ~ let me see more of your passion! The burning _desire_ in those stormy eyes to prevail against the odds! The _brutality_ of your lithe fingers that slayed your opponents with such finesse! Kirito-chan, show me the _power_ in that delicate body of yours!" – at this point, the clearly unhinged «Red Player» giggled uncontrollably for a moment – "Kirito-chan, become _mine_!"

Kirito's right eye twitched. He was getting ticked off by the "-chan" that this weirdo kept sticking on to his name. Sure, he might have been described as rather feminine in appearance, but he was most definitely – no, he was _defiantly_ a male. Kirito would defend that truism to his last breath, even against all claims to the contrary. Actually, honorifics should probably be the least of his concerns at the moment, if the gyrating pedophile in front of him was any indication of the situation. He raised his hand cautiously.

"Um, hey, «Red Player» guy…" The hooligan snapped to attention at Kirito's words. Kirito gulped at the intensity of his gaze that seemed to be able to bore into his eyes no differently from how it seemed the estoc in his hands itched to do so. "Uh, I just took out two of your friends, so maybe you could… you know, surrender," he finished lamely. "And I'm not a girl, so stop putting '-chan' at the end of my name," he added with more resolution.

The insane man gasped in shock. "Not a girl?" he muttered. "But that heart-shaped face, and those lush lips" – (Kirito gagged) – "no, I refuse to believe it!" The creep's words rose steadily in a crescendo until he climaxed. " _I will prove it!_ "

"KIRITO-CHAN!" he ejaculated with spread arms, sword erect. "I WILL REVEAL YOUR PANTSU~!"

The man thrusted violently forward. His sword penetrated the space between the two combatants in a spray of light, shooting straight for Kirito's nether regions. Kirito backpedaled on instinct, and only an inch of higher ground prevented the long, hard shaft from splashing a creamy-white multi-hit «Sword Skill» all over his «Avatar». Though the desperate boy dodged the initial strike, the succeeding thrusts left him gasping with only a handful of «Hit Points» that he could still claim as his own.

The deranged «Red Player» halted his charge as he glanced at Kirito's nearly-empty «Health Bar». "No, no, that won't do at all!" he muttered to himself before nimbly manipulating his «Inventory» to materialize a pungent pink potion. Kirito's eyes widened in recognition. _That's a paralysis potion! He's going to humiliate me first before he goes for the kill!_ He refused to acknowledge the more disturbing possibility of becoming the creep's pet.

Slathering the potion haphazardly over the tip of the estoc, the «PKer» turned to gaze at Kirito. "Some people call me «Xaxa»," he began to whisper. "But Kirito-chan~❤" – he leveled the estoc at approximately the height of his pelvis to point directly at Kirito – "Kirito-chan, when we're in private, I want you to cry out a different name, for soon I shall be known as…!" Xaxa suddenly reached his hands to his chest and tore his shirt apart, bearing a well-shaven chest and a pair of prominent points.

"DE _SU_ ~ GUN! Kyu _UNN~~~_! ❤❤!"

Kirito averted his eyes in horror, but it was too late! The overwhelming – _cannot unsee_ – image remained burned within – _cannot unsee! –_ his mind. The moment's distraction – _CANNOT UNSEE!_ – was all that Xaxa needed to explode towards his prey. His left hand extended to grasp the pot of honey in front of him even as his estoc sailed forth in parallel, the sticky fluid of the paralysis potion dripping along its length.

"YOU'RE WIDE OPEN, KIRITO-CHANNN!"

Kirito wildly stumbled backwards in fear for his virginity, not caring that his voice cracked twice as he cried out in panic:

"D-D-DUEL XA-XA-XAXA!"

«Player Kirito ha-«YES»

«Countdown: 60, 59, 58…»

The «Duel Request» window had not even fully materialized before Xaxa's outstretched hand accidentally confirmed the request. And then the poisoned edge pierced into Kirito's «Avatar», only to ping off of a message window that kindly alerted the offender that "damage is prohibited during the opening of a duel."

The prone boy gaped in shock. _It actually worked?_ It was several more seconds before he regained his senses enough to open his «Inventory» and retrieve a «Healing Crystal». He wouldn't be able to activate it during the «Duel», but it would be a simple matter to cancel the «Duel» preemptively and then activate the crystal. «Xaxa» howled in frustration as his near victory slipped away.

Kirito smiled in relief. _I always thought it was odd that «Players» were completely invulnerable at the start of a «Duel», but I guess I shouldn't be complaining_. Indeed, in the world of «Sword Art Online», «Players» could take damage only from their opponents during a «Duel». Of course, to prevent the obvious exploit, they would be unable to harm entities not participating as well. And finally, to prevent cheating, neither participant could attack each other until the countdown hit zero, which just so happened to serve Kirito very well in this instance.

The Black Swordsman adjusted his grip on his sword and the crystal in his hands as he opened his «Menu» to cancel the «Duel». «Xaxa» was still crying in agony, holding his head and raging about… undergarments. Suddenly, the first lieutenant of «Laughing Coffin» snapped towards Kirito in selfish fury.

"I WILL CLAIM YOUR PANTSU, KIRITO-CHAN!"

"Like I said, I'm a guy-" Kirito barely had time to speak before «Xaxa» blurred forward. _Well, whatever_ , he thought to himself as he activated the crystal in his hand, causing his «Health Bar» to bounce upwards into a healthy green. _In a one-on-one fight, I won't lose!_

* * *

 **Author's Note** :

If you haven't picked up on it already, the conception of this story was seeing the many cases of people writing fanfics who just don't realize when they confuse two similar-looking words. I'm not a very good writer myself (you may have noticed the curious brevity of my action scenes as well as the rather stunted dialogue), but that doesn't mean I can't nitpick at word usage! 😉

Now, a typo here and there is fine, but consistently wrong usage is a sure sign that the author doesn't know there's a problem. Sometimes it's a rare word, so it's forgivable, sometimes it's a "commonly-misspelled word," which are remarkably rare these days because there's so much publicity on them in modern English curriculums. And of course, sometimes the author is not a native English speaker. Unfortunately, many of these errors are never fixed for a very long time because (most) reviewers are too kind to correct the author, so the author never realizes that there's an error.

But even so, if you as an author must rely on a spell checker to correct a word you don't know how to spell off the top of your head… isn't that a huge flag that you should look it up in a dictionary? No, "my spell checker was evil" is not an excuse if you're trying to practice accurate writing (serious writers should not type on phones either).

Other times, the mistake is just so blatantly wrong that clearly the author didn't do research. Usually, this manifests as incorrect proper names for characters or places that everyone in the fandom knows (except the author, apparently). I think the most obvious case of stupid!author I've encountered in my two fandoms is "Private Drive" for the location of the Dursley household in the Harry Potter series. I would imagine the true name "Privet Drive" is mentioned at least once in every book since that's where each book begins. For movie-watchers only, "privet" is not pronounced like "private." Finally, "privet" is a far rarer word than "private." If the stupid!author was still unfamiliar with the name of the street, that's a clear sign that said author should check online and not hazard a spelling. Basically, any case of "Hmm, I _think_ this is-" STOP! Do some research!

Honorable mentions go to Diagonal Ally and Ronald Wesley. For the SAO-verse, it would have to be Ordinary Scale. What can one do but facepalm at the sight of these atrocities?

Anyway, enough ranting. At the end of each chapter, I will compile a list of the common mistakes I see in fanfics that I tried to include in this chapter, some successfully, others probably cringe-worthy :/. For some odd reason, the final chapter (of three) has the majority of the eighteen I was able to use. Since I am pointing these out to you readers, I think it's only fair that you criticize my own word usage wherever it goes wrong :)

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 **Insure** vs **Ensure** – Some sources say that insure can now mean ensure (in American English at least). I'm of the opinion that they sound so similar in conversation that people's brains made them overlap by accident, and thus this mistake has carried into writing. There are a few other word pairs with the same problem, but I can't recall them right now. **Insure** means… actually, I have a really hard time defining it concisely myself, even after looking it up in the dictionary. **Ensure** means to confirm something.

 **Decent** vs **Descent** – A fairly rare mistake, as both are common words. **Decent** is good. It's also pronounced with an accent on the first syllable. **Descent** describes something going downwards, and the accent is on the second syllable. There's also likely a slight vowel difference for the second syllable depending on what kind of English you have.

 **Defiantly** vs **Definitely** – Very common. I fail to understand how so many people prefer to swap the much rarer word "defiantly" for the desired word "definitely." **Defiantly** modifies an action to show that it is in opposition to some force. **Definitely** means that something is true.

Incidentally, I also used "pay tensions" instead of "pay attention" because I've always thought it sounded hilarious and so I wanted to include it somewhere. Nobody mixes these two up as far as I've seen.

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 **Fanfic Recommendation** :

 _Halkegenia Online_ by _zero0hero_. The instigator of my fanfic. It is a very long story with a well-thought out plot and impressive world building. Despite what feels like forty-odd main characters, it actually is not too hard to follow – when I read this fanfic, I hadn't touched ZnT in five years, and yet I wasn't constantly forgetting characters. In other words, good job! But… it has by far the highest concentration of wrong-word substitutions I have ever seen... despite having a very good vocabulary at the same time. Thus I'm rather confused about the writer's background, though I would hazard that it's non-native yet fluent English.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note** : I set up the story to gradually explain the mechanics behind Dueling in SAO. I have given quite a bit of effort trying to think up a system that would limit player abuse of duels, but undoubtedly there will be some exploit that I haven't thought of. I'll just handwave those exploits away by saying that the players that experimented with exploiting the duel invincibility found it impossible to pull the exploit off in dangerous situations, so they ruled it as impractical. Until Kirito came along, that is…

By the way, image credit to あき on pixiv (without the trap card, of course).

* * *

« _Universal Taunt_ »  
« _Passive Skill_ »  
« _Allows the Wielder to engage in duels with monsters and NPCs_ »

It was an exited Kirito that threw the door open and dashed out of the «Sunrose Inn» with an excited spring in his step, carrying him out of the «Town of Middlings» in barely half a minute. Someone called out with a "Hey! Wait up!" but the words fell on deaf ears. A manic smile split the boy's face as he charged out of town without a care. _Finally! This is it!_

It had been a long year, probably longer, since he got the mysterious «Duel-wielding» skill. And now, after so much effort, endlessly watching noobs try to duel each other in town, brushing aside notification after notification, even valiantly protecting his virg-… protecting the innocent masses from «Laughing Coffin», he finally, _finally_ got a skill that might actually serve him some use as a solo player!

His feet brought him out of the gates and into the grassy fields that dominated «Floor 51». Large, red boars could be seen grazing in all directions, munching passively while staring at the occasional adventurer passing through. It was like a step back into the very first day of «Sword Art Online» for the Clearers when they first opened this floor after the horrific «Floor 50» boss fight, what with the curiously named first town in sight and the décor of the floor in general. Though, true to its name, the «Town of Middlings» was rather underwhelming compared to the grandeur of the «Town of Beginnings».

Kirito quickly headed into the shadow of a large outcropping, wherein the solitary boar underneath it squealed at the blatant invasion of privacy. Not that the black-haired boy cared. He only needed three things: a place hidden away from prying eyes, his trusty «Elucidator», and a victim. The «Friendly Boar» slowly backed away as the frenzied eyes of the dark demon before it fell on their prey. The sinister maw slowly opened to reveal a row of pearly white teeth. It was the last thing the boar saw of the demon towering over it before the words of Death spoke forth.

" _Duel «Friendly Boar»."_

The Black Swordsman watched as the terrified boar bolted away, the «Duel Request» window completely disregarded. It persisted for sixty seconds, forlornly addressing the ground upon which the «Friendly Boar» had dozed, before it closed itself quietly.

Kirito scratched the back of his head. "Well, that didn't work," he stated matter-of-factly. "I guess I need to aggro it first, huh?" And he set off to find another guinea p- … mob.

It was another good half hour until the overly-eager swordsman found a boar that didn't immediately flee upon catching sight of his black-clad figure. Apparently the «Friendly Boar» had friends? Kirito continued wondering at the sophistication of the AI of «Sword Art Online», until his wanderings brought him before a boar that _didn't_ run away immediately.

 _He's a loner_ , Kirito posited grimly. _Just like me_. His pity was short-lived, though, as he had a very important experiment to conduct.

The young swordsman drew the «Elucidator» from his back as the boar eyed him questioningly. Curiously, it was wearing a red bandana, one that seemed to register as familiar somewhere in the back of the mad scientist's mind, though it was dismissed in favor of the pursuit of Science. And thus, Kirito reached out with his sword to smack it smartly on the snout.

Like its petty cousins of «Floor 1», the «Friendly Boar» was not an aggressive mob; it would only attack those that struck it first. But unlike the «Frenzy Boar», these mobs could _really_ hold a vendetta. And when a «Player» broke the tacit trust that each «Friendly Boar» freely gave them from the start, there was a reckoning to be had.

The «Friendly Boar» gave a startled _oink_. Its eyes shifted from a serene ocean blue to a churning bloody-red. Its fuzzy hide spiked outwards dangerously, and the elegant tusks seemed to lengthen and sharpen to a point so fine, even a unicorn would be jealous. The enraged hog let out a mighty bellow as it reared up onto its hind legs. The force of its forward hooves slamming back into the ground sent a tremor towards the fleeing figure already eighteen meters away tumbling into the grass. The boar snorted menacingly as its vision tunneled in towards the boy's location.

Target acquired.

From his position on the ground, Kirito opened his eyes to see the «Friendly Boar» boring down upon him from the grassy ceiling in defiance of gravity. He immediately flipped into a combat stance, sword drawn at the perfect angle to relieve the monster of its most dangerous weapon at no risk of taking damage himself. One did not undergo nearly two years of intensive training in the «Aincrad Style» without developing both combat instincts and a sense for the most efficient battle tactics to swiftly subdue… ah. Wasn't he here to test out the «Universal Taunt» skill?

With a vigorous shake, Kirito wrestled with his body, keeping a firm mental check on his instincts even as his muscles struggled to act against the imminent threat of the hog thundering towards him. Time seemed to slow as he waited for the moment that the «Friendly Boar» would get into range for him to send the «Duel Request».

 _15 meters… 13 meters… 11 meters… NOW!_ The Black Swordsman opened his mouth and roared.

"Duel «Friendly Boar»!"

The majestic window flashed into existence before the charging boar, accompanied by an explosion of expensive CG. Sunlight burst through the clouds above, dappling the grass upon which the two combatants stood. The young boy looked on in awe, basking in the presence of his window in shining armor as it floated firm against the Agent of Adversity bearing down upon him. Trumpets sounded from all sides, heralding the appearance of the Protector of Justice, even as the «Friendly Boar» passed unhindered through the «Duel Request» window and nailed Kirito in the balls.

"Hu _rghnbh!_ " The unfortunate boy let out a pitiful gurgle and effortlessly performed a quadruple full twist over his right shoulder. The subsequent landing was nowhere near as impressive, though.

…

A dejected Kirito found himself waddling into the «Sunrose Inn» several hours later, failure written upon his face. He cursed irritably under his breath. Not only was the stupid skill a complete flop, but that damnable smirk that would briefly flash across the «Friendly Boar's» face each time it connected was… No, no, never mind that the mob was just an AI with no feelings, he knew… he _knew_ that it was laughing at him the entire time! It and all of its friends! Why, if he ever saw that _ridiculous_ bandanna again, he would kick the pig so hard in the nuts it would sprout wings and be sent flying off the edge of the world!

So fuming, the Dark Swordsman meticulously set to work planning his revenge.

* * *

« _Uncontrollable Rage_ »

« _Active Skill: To activate, draw your weapon while Focusing on your target. Your weapon must be sheathed to activate this skill_ »

« _Allows the Wielder to force an immediate duel with the target. The default duel type can be set in the Duel Settings window_ »

Kirito stared at the floor. It wasn't particularly interesting, but it was for that reason that his brain could consider his most recent «Duel-Wielding» skill that he had obtained a few minutes earlier in greater detail.

 _«Uncontrollable Rage»_ … He frowned deeply, eyes drilling a hole into the nondescript floor. _Sure, the «Duel-Wielding» skill in general doesn't match my play style, but perhaps it's for the best that I ended up with it. Imagine if someone from «Laughing Coffin» had gotten it instead – then what would happen? After all, with this newest skill, can't I theoretically PK anyone I want, «Safe Zone» or not?_ Dark thoughts roiled through his mind at the implications of the power he now held within his hands. He subconsciously clenched them into fists as if trying to prevent them from accidentally hurting anyone, though his efforts only succeeded in brutally ripping his sandwich in half.

"Geez, Kirito-kun. Is my cooking really that bad? I put a lot of effort into that sandwich, you know…"

The boy's thoughts catapulted back into the present at the words of the girl beside him. He blinked several times at her in confusion, then turned to look at the powerless lunch held within his hands. And then at Asuna. And then back to the sandwich. _Ah, we're eating lunch, aren't we?_ he recalled a bit too slowly.

Asuna sniffed and turned away in a show of disappointment. "Really," she said. "I _did_ make two sandwiches for you today, but I guess you don't want them after all. Maybe I'll feed it to the lizardmen around here instead?" She steathily glanced back at her secret crush from the corner of her eye and was rewarded with the sight of Kirito wolfing down the lunch that she had carefully put together for him.

Kirito, of course, paid no attention to the girl sitting next to him as he devoured the sandwich with gusto. After the gross mistreatment of the ambrosia in front of him, its durability might reach zero at any moment!

 _Faster, I have to get faster!_ he thought fiercely. The durability did indeed reach zero several seconds later.

Asuna hid a giggle behind her hand as Kirito snatched at the second sandwich. "You're such a glutton, Kirito-kun! How are you still so thin?" The starving boy merely grunted attractively and shrugged his shoulders. If there was one thing he learned from his aunt, it was that he shouldn't talk with his mouth full. Especially in front of the girl he had a secret crush on.

The young totally-not-a-couple-(yet) continued to chat away happily, lost within their own shared world. Unfortunately, that bubble burst several minutes later. This was the «Floor 74» labyrinth, after all, and it was far from private. Kirito and Asuna stood up slowly as the echoing sounds of footsteps drew closer to their position. They were of course in a «Safe Zone», but it was never wise to be sitting down when interacting with possibly-unsavory characters.

A tall, rugged man in crimson-red armor strode purposefully around a corner, halting at the site at the sight of the two Clearers. A pregnant pause presented itself. Then his mouth split open in a friendly grin, a hand rising to greet them.

"Yo, Kirito! It's been a whi- _UAKHGhyaaann~~_!"

Asuna gaped at the interaction. Normally people did not kick complete strangers in the crotch as a greeting, did they? Definitely not her Kirito! Though, it _did_ seem like the thuggish man rolling across the floor knew her Kirito, so maybe it was just a – how was it called? A "bro" sort of thing? She couldn't be sure – she went to a rich all-female school after all.

"Oi, Kirito!" the red-haired man barked from the floor. "What was that for?!"

The boy in question scratched his head and looked away guiltily. "S- sorry Klein. I'm not really sure myself," he said, stalling as he searched for an excuse. "I, uh… my leg twitched because I was so happy to see a friend again?" he offered as an explanation while extending a hand to pull the unfortunate man up. He was _not_ going to tell him the story about the boar if he could help it.

Klein accepted the hand. "Yeah, well. Just don't do it again, okay man? It's not cool." He dusted off his clothes as a matter of habit before turning to regard the other perso-… beautiful young dame that was intently regarding his own, chiseled features. The rogue's face flushed so deeply it was as if someone had dumped a pound of rouge on it. Instantly, his body snapped into a perfect right angle at the waist.

"H-h-hello! I'm just a gay-gay-guy, name's Klane, uh, twenty-four and sin-HbeghU _kYUuuuunn_ ~~-mpHGh!"

Rather than demanding «Map Data» from his Comrades ahead as was his initial intention, the frontline Lieutenant of the «Army» decided not to interact with the strange group that was apparently trying to tug the pants off of someone whose head was stuck in the ceiling. _I've never seen a quest like that before…_ he wondered as he turned down a different corridor, his faithful soldiers following behind him. _Dungeon walls are «Immortal Objects», so it can only be an «NPC» in that position, right?_

Unfortunately, Lieutenant Cobert was never able to solve the Mystery of the Hanging Pants before his life ended. Half an hour later, the brutal blow from «The Gleam Eyes» sent him careening towards a trio standing at the entrance to the «Boss Room». Even as his «Health Bar» depleted before his eyes, he managed to catch a glimpse of familiar trousers in the corner of his vision.

 _Those pants!_ he thought as he frantically turned to look at the diamond above its owner's head. _Is it a green «Player Cursor» or a-_

He died.

"No-! NO MORE!" cried Asuna as she desperately charged into the room, the majestic rapier «Lambent Light» piercing through the air.

Kirito dashed forward as well in fear of her safety. "Wait, Asuna!" he cried out, simultaneously unsheathing the «Elucidator» from his back. Klein simply stood still for a moment, until his chivalry reared out of his chest and demanded to be satisfied.

"Eh-, whatever!" And then he pulled out his nameless katana and ran into Hell, his loyal friends and guildmates right beside him.

Kirito sprinted in front of Asuna, who was frozen in post-«Sword Skill»-cooldown, just in time to halt «The Gleam Eye's» massive blade in its tracks. Suddenly, the muscles that stretched taut along the boss's arms rippled with demonic energy, propelling the stalled weapon forward and sending Kirito flying over Asuna's head. Despite the mighty strike, he was able to flip over in mid-air to land gracefully on the other side of the «Boss Room», a talent in acrobatics that many a fighting game had taught him in a previous life.

He quickly re-entered the fray with a well-placed «Sonic Leap» against the boss's back while it was distracted, following up with the high-level «Howling Octave». «The Gleam Eyes» roared in fury as it turned to face the impudent black rat that had dealt so much damage to it in such little time. Kirito smirked. _Just according to keikaku_ (Author's Note: keikaku means plan).

"Everyone!" he shouted. "Get out while I have the boss «Aggroed»!" The Black Swordsman ducked under a heavy swing, capitalizing on the fraction of a second in which the boss recovered from its failed attack to execute his own ferocious slash. He deftly backflipped over the boss's return swing while simultaneously scoring a clean cut along an exposed leg. He wasn't going to be trapped locking swords with «The Gleam Eyes» again if he could help it!

Out of the corner of his eye, Kirito could see two of Klein's guildmates dragging an armor-clad vegetable towards the entrance. He cursed under his breath. _Damn that lieutenant, you can't fight a «Floor Boss» with people who freeze in fear._ A forward roll brought him through «The Gleam Eyes's» legs, allowing him a moment's reprieve to catch his breath. _There had better not be anyone else dying today because of him!_ Pouring all of his strength into his next attack, Kirito whipped around in a 360-degree spin before ramming the «Elucidator» into his opponent's chest.

«The Gleam Eyes» stumbled backwards at the tremendous force before regaining its balance, jumping off to the edge of the room to survey the situation once more. In a moment of unprecedented clarity, its digital brain carefully regarded the relentless rat before it that was somehow managing to match, even overcome the demonic strength bestowed unto it by the Highest Administrator of «Aincrad». And without using many «Sword Skills», to boot! Its limited AI began to calculate an alternative battle strategy as quickly as it could.

 _«Please wait… Please wait…»_

Kirito blinked in confusion at the boss. Was it lagging? He dared not approach it, though. What if it were a trap, to lure him into striking range? At their current distance, «The Gleam Eyes» would get the first move due to its greater reach. Or maybe the AI was stuck in an infinite loop? In which case he still had better not attack, as this was the perfect way to stall for more time to get the last stragglers out of the room. _There was that one «Mob» back on «Floor 45»_ , he recalled, _that was particularly prone to running around in circ-_ The boss abruptly straightened and bellowed out a challenge. _Never mind, it's moving again._

«The Gleam Eyes» tore across the room, blade brandishing wildly. Kirito's eyes widened in panic. _It's trying to confuse me!_ he realized. _By slashing its sword at random, it will be pure chance whether I dodge correctly or not!_

Then, something in the boy's head clicked. _But there's a critical flaw in its tactic. The timing of its swings is still constant, so rather than defending against an attack from an unknown angle, I just have to step in when its sword is out of position!_ The Black Swordsman adjusted his footing, preparing to dash in at just the right moment. Onyx eyes watched as gleaming eyes bore down upon him, each colossal step taking the boss closer and closer to his position… and then at two meters until contact, «The Gleam Eyes» suddenly veered off at a perpendicular trajectory, arrowing towards the nearest «Player» besides Kirito himself. The «Player» might have been turned in the opposite direction, but Kirito would recognize that chestnut-colored hair anywhere.

"ASUNA!"

The girl swung her head towards the shout, flinching instinctively at the azure demon towering above, mere meters away from crushing her with a swing of its gargantuan sword. To Kirito's horror, she was unarmed. In her efforts to assist the members of the «Army» out of the room, the «Lambent Light» lay unfaithfully on the floor beside her. The two «Health Potions» in either hand would offer no protection against the killing machine that was «The Gleam Eyes».

The terrified swordsman leapt forward, but he might as well have been trudging through molasses compared to how swiftly the accursed blade rose in preparation to strike down the defenseless girl. Asuna's hazel eyes, wide in shock at the realization of her imminent death, abruptly mellowed. She tilted her head back down to gaze apologetically at Kirito.

 _Don't_.

There was still something he could do! Kirito raised his sword arm over his head, unintentionally mirroring the same pose as «The Gleam Eyes» currently bellowing in triumph at its successful strategy. Asuna managed a crooked smile before her lips parted.

 _Don't!_

The air parted explosively from underneath the demonic edge as it fell with the strength of a blazing comet, but the young woman cared not. Her mouth moved. As his right arm passed its zenith and continued down his back, Kirito could just make out the words "I'm sorry" forming on her lips.

 _DON'T GIVE UP!_

It hurt. Kirito couldn't bear to see such a defeated expression marring her angelic face. And in that moment, the young man realized just what she meant to him.

Fire filled the furnace deep within his chest. Burning, blazing, an unbearable rage coursed upwards, his vision clouding over in a haze of hatred. _Destroy_. Kirito turned his gaze away from his soulmate, choosing instead to focus on pulverizing the demon before her into oblivion. With the slightest tilt of his wrist, the «Elucidator» angled downwards just so, and the midnight edge slid down its scabbard on his back in a race against the obsidian battle-sword wielded by «The Gleam Eyes».

Sound may travel at well over a thousand kilometers per hour, but within the vacuum of a split second, nothing can be heard. For just a moment, all was silent.

Two pitch-black weapons inched downwards.

The «Elucidator» landed with a soundless _chink!_ into its sheathe.

The onyx edge bit into her skin.

Kirito's blade bounced back out. The distance was nine-point-eight meters.

And the flow of time resumed its proper tempo.

Immediately, an invisible force-field pushed the fell blade away from its prey, forcefully interrupting its two-hit «Sword Skill». But the first strike had already landed. Asuna cried out reflexively as her right arm separated from her torso. Bereft of its usual anchor, it fell to the ground limply and rolled a few turns before shattering into a thousand polygons. She grimaced as she imagined what her «Avatar» would probably look like had it been subjected to «The Gleam Eyes's» second strike. In the corner of her vision, her «Health Bar» abruptly collapsed down to less than 12% of its full size. Luckily for her, the 200-Col «Health Potion» in her disintegrated arm remained intact.

Not that she was going to use it. She immediately smashed the other «Health Potion» in her remaining arm into the gaping face of the sorry excuse for a «Player» that she had been trying to save. With dexterity befitting her title of "The Flash," she proceeded to whip out a «Health Crystal» from her «Quick Slot» and activate it, restoring her «HP» to a healthy green. Only then did she look back up to understand the impossibility that had transpired. The sight that greeted her filled her with dread.

A blue ring of fire encircled the atrium, casting a deathly glow on the two figures facing off within. On one side stood a hulking monstrosity of demonic descent. Its cobalt hide seemed to absorb the light shining upon it, making its gargantuan muscles stand out in even greater contrast against its already ominous palette.

On the other side of the room… well, Asuna presumed her Kirito was there somewhere, but she couldn't see him since «The Gleam Eyes» was blocking her vision. She ducked her head slightly to peer between its legs.

Kirito panted heavily as he eyed the demon across the room. His heart was thudding against his chest so painfully, he was surprised he wasn't taking any damage. Despite being officially locked into single-handed combat with a «Floor Boss», the weary boy couldn't help but grin. _I'm in a «Duel»…_ he realized. _It worked. It really worked! Asuna is still alive!_

Indeed, Kirito could just make out the living, healthy face of his soulmate peeking cutely through the divide between «The Gleam Eyes's» legs in apparent confusion. Similarly, to the left of the boss, Klein's mouth hung open unattractively, a string of dribble leaking out as he gawked.

Slowly, the red-haired man raised an accusing finger. "HAX!" he blurted out.

As if agreeing with Klein's accusation, «The Gleam Eyes» bellowed ferociously at the black rat that had robbed it of yet another kill. Leaping forward with a mighty lunge, it easily crossed the ten meters that separated it from its arch-nemesis. Kirito frantically sprang forward with a yelp, ducking underneath the demon soaring overhead.

"Not now, Klein! Just get everyone out of here!" he cried out mid-roll at the shell-shocked crowd in front of him as the two combatants switched sides.

Klein worked his jaw for a moment before spluttering in confusion, "Wha-, but… that, that's a… how…"

"JUST GO ALREADY!" Kirito roared. "I got this!"

Klein snapped his mouth shut with an audible click, galvanized into action once more. He resumed hauling his freight towards the exit. "Hey Kirito!" he called over his shoulder. "You better tell me the story later!"

Asuna paused to lock eyes with Kirito, and the intensity of her gaze was such that he could feel all her trust in him, all her strength channeling through an invisible string that connected the two beyond the boundaries of the virtual world they lived in.

 _Yes,_ he thought. _No matter how far apart our real bodies are, we will always be together_. A tender moment of peace was shared between the young couple before she, too, turned away and sprinted for the entrance. Then pivoted abruptly to retrieve the near-comatose «Player» on the ground, dragging the stricken «Player» back to safety.

And with that, only two individuals remained within the «Boss Room».

The Black Swordsman exhaled slowly. Everyone was out, leaving him free to let loose without restraint. «The Gleam Eyes» still had three entire «Health Bars» left, and its first one had only decreased to about half. Kirito himself was at nearly two-thirds of his maximum HP, but he was confident that he would survive this «Duel» to live for another day. An eager smile graced his face. After this battle, he would muster up his courage and talk to Asuna. And maybe, just maybe, she would-

He didn't finish that thought. _Now is not the time for dreams,_ he reasoned. There was one more task to complete. Invigorated by his momentary connection with Asuna, his hand flew through his menu, diving through the numerous options until his finger stopped over a glaring red button. The Black Swordsman looked back over his shoulder to send a final scowl at «The Gleam Eyes».

"It's my victory," he stated simply. His finger jabbed downwards.

« _Player Kirito has cancelled the Duel_ »

And then he sprinted out of the «Boss Room», for the devil really was after him, scrambling past the bewildered «Players» looking in. Eyes trailed after the retreating figure for a moment before turning back to the… oh, _shit_.

This time, the corridor leading up to the «Boss Room» saw not just two «Players», but almost half an entire raid of them screaming at the top of their lungs as they fled down the hallway.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

This story only has three chapters - it was originally intended to be a one-shot, but 20K words seemed a bit excessive for one chapter. Personally I don't like reading such long chapters on this site, since I lose my place often. So, there's only one chapter left! But first, it's time for a new wave of mispelled words! :D

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

 **Exited** vs **Excited** – This mistake is far too common. Specifically, "excited" is swapped for "exited," but not the other way around. The spellchecker doesn't help, yet this mistake still seems more common than expected if it were purely the spellchecker's fault. **Exited** is the past tense of the verb "to exit," or to leave. **Excited** describes someone that is really engaged, often accompanied by squealing from fictional girls (somehow, guys don't get excited in fiction unless it's of a more… mature nature).

 **Wondering** vs **Wandering** – I can understand why people might substitute "wandering" for "wondering," since poetically one would say that the mind "wanders" while it "wonders" – but only poetically. Strictly speaking it's not true, because "wondering" does have some sense of direction. **Wondering** is when someone is thinking up an explanation for something. **Wandering** is moving aimlessly.

 **Rogue** vs **Rouge** – This makes me think of doge, probably because of the changing phonetics of the 'g' character. A **rogue** is a mischievous character when used as a noun, but as an adjective it describes something that is out of control. **Rouge** is a powdery, red makeup.

 **Sight** vs **Site** – These are both common words, which makes me really annoyed that they are often mixed up. **Sight** is your ability to perceive things through vision, with your eyes. **Site** is a place. For instance, camp site.

 **Taut** vs **Taught** – Thankfully no one writes "taut" when intending to write "taught" … otherwise I would wonder just what people have been taught in elementary school *cheeky wink*. **Taut** describes an object, usually a rope, that is stretched, or has tension. **Taught** is the past tense of "teach."

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

 **Fanfic Challenge:**

Rewrite the Aincrad arc (from Floor 74 up, that is), but swap out Heathcliff's canon personality for Professor Leskinen from Steins;Gate 0 (with an Engrish accent if you write in English). "KIERIHTO, HEY BOY!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note** : I used this week since I posted the first chapter to try to fix some things in this final chapter, but it still isn't quite the way I want it to be... :( Hopefully it's still enjoyable overall!

But Now!

It's Time to D-D-D-D- D-D-D-D-D-D-

* * *

« _Blessing of the Mahou Shoujo_ »  
« _Passive Skill_ »  
« _If the final strike of a duel is fatal, the loser will be left at 1 hit point instead. This option can be toggled in the Duel Settings Window. Note: not applicable for Player vs. Monster Duels_ »

"KYAAAAAA~~~!"

Kirito whipped around excitedly. That charming, celestial cry! It belonged to his sweet-

 _FWUMP_

Two bodies executed a perfect double cartwheel over the limestone bricks before collapsing in a heap twelve meters from the «Teleport Gate». Several nearby «Players» paused to look at the spectacle before snickering and resuming their work.

"Hehe, there goes Kirito and Asuna again…"

"Got it on my «Record Crystal»! I'm so glad I came early today to see it!"

Kirito ignored the mutterings around him as he struggled to push Asuna off himself. His hand reached up to find purchase on… hmm? Something warm, and… soft? Not to mention squishy? He squeezed experimentally several more times, fascinated by the springy texture.

"K-, K-Kirito! Stop touching them!"

With a start, Kirito looked down to examine the silky-smooth objects grasped within his fingers. His face paled in abject horror.

"Oh no…" he gasped in trepidation. The hapless boy slowly looked up guiltily at the swordswoman whose face was slowly reddening in anger, steam shooting out in jets from either ear. Seconds later, the «Deluxe Manjuu» tragically burst into polygons from durability loss.

"Thatfushwrthwenyhousencull," Asuna muttered, a fist rising up in frustration.

Kirito blinked, a drop of sweat growing over his brow. "Huh?" he said intelligently. He was pretty sure he knew exactly what she was saying trying to say, but he would rather that he had heard it wrong…

"That. Was. Worth. Twenty. Thousand. Col!" The demoness straddling him shouted, emphasizing each word with a painful jab at his chest. "EACH!"

Kirito flailed backwards pathetically, looking left and right down the alleys of «Collinia» for any potential allies. In all of two years living in «Aincrad», he had never had to fight a monster sitting on top of him! Only _noobs_ got into such a bad position. Which, unfortunately, meant that a peerless pro such as himself now lacked the experience to fend off the huntress whose level was OVER 90 and who was currently dual-wielding cutlery with a manic gleam in her-

Eyes shining with worry. The young girl pulled Kirito up from the ground into a sudden hug. The startled boy thought he heard a quiet sniffle over his shoulder, but he was quite sure that it was his imagination. His Asuna had never shown bipolar tendencies before.

"I'm sorry…" Asuna whispered. The enveloped boy stiffened. This wasn't the cliché apology that came before the murder, was it? She continued speaking, unaware that the boy in her arms was sweating buckets.

"If only we had gotten out of the «Boss Room» faster, then you wouldn't have been forced to reveal your «Unique Skill»," she spoke softly. "If only I helped you distract the boss while the others escaped… rather than having to _haul_ that brainless _cretin_ by his two-"

"AH! A-Asuna! Fork! WATCH THE FORK!" Kirito cried out in panic as the innocuous implement in Asuna's left hand began digging painfully into his cheeks – specifically, the ones connected to his privates. She sprang back in alarm, eyeing the cooking utensils in either hand with the unique curiosity of one unsure of how said utensils came to be in one's possession. After taking a moment to calm his beating heart, Kirito cleared his throat to grab her attention.

"Well, uh, don't worry about it, it would have come out eventually," he replied as he sought to soothe the young girl. "And besides!" he exclaimed cheerily. "Now that it's out in the open, I think I can use «Duel-Wielding» to really help with the «Floor Bosses» from now on." He glanced askance. "Though it might take a bit more experimenting…" he trailed off.

Indeed, after that spectacle with «The Gleam Eyes», a host of «Players» tried experimenting with the standard «Duel» system in unorthodox ways, looking for possible exploits. Perhaps they could send a «Duel Request» to someone in the party when their «HP» got low? That method was quickly shot down, as the several seconds it would take to open the «Menu» and navigate to the «Duel» section was more than enough time to get beheaded by any mob of passing intelligence several times over.

Then one «Player» had the brilliant idea of fighting with the «Menu» open to the «Duel» section throughout a battle, ready to send a request at a moment's notice to another «Player» on standby. It was a resoundingly successful strategy… until he accidentally de-equipped his armor mid-fight, all of it vanishing in a spectacular _flash_ to reveal pale skin that spoke years of sitting in front of the computer in a dark room for too long. Witnesses would later swear that the only reason he survived the ordeal was that the «Blathe Lamia's» AI was so shocked by the unprecedented action that it stood stock still for several seconds, simply staring intently at a particular part of the poor «Player's» physique.

As did many others. No matter how vehemently the witnesses would swear, they never seemed to agree on the fine aspects of the «Player's» sword when he _flashed_ , so Kirito was disinclined to believe the entire tale at all. Still, he did _not_ need to know that information. Nor the fact that Klein made a killing off of his almost being killed, courtesy of Argo. _Now that I think of it_ , Kirito mused, _I thought "swords" were only visible when the «Ethics Code» was disa-_

Asuna flicked at his forehead. "Don't even think about it!" she scolded, propelling Kirito back into the present. "You would be completely on your own if you enter a «Duel» against a boss! Do you understand how nerve-wracking it is to watch you fight alone without being able to help?"

Kirito scratched the back of his head nervously, trying to look anywhere but at Asuna. "Of course I don't, I play solo" … was what he was about to say, but he managed to catch the words on the tip of his tongue.

"For a moment back then, I thought that you were about to try to solo the boss," the despondent girl admitted. "I don't know what I would have done if… if…"

He snorted derisively. "I would never do that," he spoke reassuringly. "What lunatic would try to solo a «Floor Boss» of all things when there were plenty of other good «Players» in the same room at the same time?"

…

Across the multiverse, several hundred different Kirito's (of various hair lengths) sneezed all at once.

…

Asuna giggled. "Hehe, you're right, how silly of me," she agreed as she wiped a tear away from her face. "I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just a little anxious from all this drama over the «Duel» today, and maybe a little tired from cooking a little too much." She reached over to her right to retrieve a «Candied Shineblossom» from the ground.

Kirito looked around as well. There appeared to be several colorful pastries and mouth-watering appetizers strewn about. So, Asuna was late today because she had been cooking these delicious dishes in preparation for his imminent «Duel» with Heathcliff? He couldn't help but feel impressed at the selection surrounding him. It must have taken a ton of effort to make not only the «Gelato Crème Puffs» and the «Rare Choco-Treats» currently scattered to his left, but also the «Three-forked Salmon Fillet» and the-

«Deluxe Manjuu».

Twenty-thousand Col.

Oh.

 _Oh._

"Uhh- yeah, we have to get to the coliseum, yeah, don't want to be late! Ahaha-" The wide-eyed boy stood up in a panic, accidentally sending Asuna who had still been sitting astride him toppling into the brick road. He quickly collected some of the sharper items from the floor, lest they find themselves embedded in sensitive parts of his body when the maxed-out chef recalled the fate of her prized manjuu.

A few tense seconds of gathering later – for Kirito, that is – the couple headed down the road towards the coliseum. Neither expected the crowd milling around the entrance, though, nor the man in uniform doing his best to make himself heard over the clamor.

"Get your tickets here! Only 6000 Col each! UNBEATABLE PRICES FOR A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME EVENT!"

Kirito eyed the «KoB» officer with a disbelieving stare. He turned to Asuna for an explanation, only to receive a panicked denial.

"N- no, I didn't know anything about this!" the «KoB» second-in-command asserted, waving her hands frantically.

The «Black Swordsman» simply sighed. "Well, at least this should help fund your «Guild»…" he conceded as he joined the throng with Asuna. Several minutes later, he swore that somehow he had moved farther backwards instead of towards the entrance.

"Um, can I get through here?" he called out impatiently as he tapped the person in front of him on the shoulder. A heavily-pimpled face turned around and glared in irritation at the young swordsman.

"And what makes you think you're so special huh?" he spat viciously, viscous spit flying all over. "If you want any seats at all for this event, then get to the back of the line!"

Kirito blinked in confusion. "Um, I do have to get prepared for the «Duel»…" he explained. The «Player» stared at him wide-eyed. After an awkward pause, Kirito decided that he should continue. "Against Heathcliff…" The acne continued to stare uncomfortably at him. "You know, as «Kirito, the Black Swordsman»…?" he spoke while grimacing at having to use his title so pretentiously. _This person seems a little dim-witted…_

Suddenly, the «Player» erupted into peals of laughter. "Haha! That's-! That's a good one, little guy!" he gasped out. A pudgy «Tank» beside him joined the conversation.

"Hehe, yeah bro, and I'm Heathcliff. See this big-ass shield I got here? Aha-, AHAHAHA-!" Kirito gaped dumbfoundedly as the speaker joined the other in what must have been their first laugh in two years.

A gloved metal hand fell roughly on his right shoulder, spinning him around to face eye-to-eye with a giant of a man. Or would that be eye-to-nipple? The young swordsman craned his neck upwards to confirm that he was really looking at a human being.

"Hey, _Blackie boy_ , what'cha doin' up here? This ain't for firs' floor noobs like you!" the colossal creature intoned menacingly. "This stuff comin' up here's quality shit, 'n there's only 'nuff space for _real_ «Players». Now git!" The hulking mass of armor shoved Kirito violently out of the crowd.

" _EXCUSE me_ …" A soft voice sounded, three parts delicate and one part Hell. At once, the entire crowd hushed.

"If you would all please move aside to let my boyf-… to let Kirito-kun through, then we can commence this «Duel» in a timely manner," the elegant lady in regal garb so spake. "Otherwise…" Refined fingers brushed over the hilt of polished edge.

Immediately, the crowd parted like the Red Sea after a «Vertical». "YES, ASUNA-SAMA! RIGHT AWAY, ASUNA-SAMA!" they cried as one, despite comprising several different «Guilds», several of which were at odds with one another.

The young girl turned cheerfully towards Kirito. "Come on Kirito-kun, the sooner we get this over with, the more time I get to spend with you!" she said to the boy still on the floor, frozen in awe.

 _Just who have I gotten involved with?_ he couldn't help but think, as he scrambled after her. It wasn't just his imagination that several of the worshippers were glowering at him with undisguised envy, right? He never noticed how Asuna's face suddenly flushed red when she realized just what she had said out loud, though he did catch the jet of steam shoot out from her ears once again. With a quiet oath under his breath, he resolved not to make her angry.

…

"Sorry for this, Kirito," Heathcliff spoke impassively while choosing several discrete options in his «Menu». "I was hoping for a more discreet «Duel», but… one of my officers, of course…"

The black-clad swordsman across the arena couldn't help but twitch an eye. It had already been an hour of standing under the sweltering sun since the debacle at the entrance. Easily over two hundred players were still clamoring over the best seats in the venue, and even more were attempting to sneak around the «KoB» officer greedily handling admissions.

The one bright spot about this was the young woman by his side, clutching his hand in worry. Kirito turned to reassure Asuna that everything would be fine, but words failed him when he caught sight of the distress marring her face. He settled for lightly brushing her hair with his free hand.

"Don't worry, Asuna," he whispered. "It's just a «Duel». It's not like we're going to die or anything."

The chestnut-haired girl shook her head in response. "That's not what I'm worried about," she said. "At this rate, some of the food I prepared for you will lose their «Durability». And I was so proud of them, too... I wanted you to taste them…"

Kirito's breath hitched. She wasn't going to bring up the «Deluxe Manjuu» again was she? He hastily grasped her shoulders, steering her away from dangerous territory.

"Uh, I can eat it all now if you want!" he said quickly. "I'm, yeah, I'm actually starving, I could probably eat an entire, um, entire…" The flustered boy grasped wildly at the first thing that popped into mind. "An entire Pina!" he shouted triumphantly. Then blinked.

Asuna regarded him with an amused smile on her lips. "That was the worst attempt I've ever seen at trying to make a girl happy," she remarked while bringing her honey orbs up to peer through Kirito's own obsidian windows. "But I can't fault a man for trying, right?"

Kirito swallowed nervously. He could easily get lost in her eyes when she gazed up at him like that… but there was no ignoring the extremely disappointed false smile, nor that subtle hint of jagged spikes hidden behind her velvety embrace that commanded him to do better next time, _or else_ …

Heathcliff cleared his throat unapologetically at the young couple that had been staring into each other's eyes for a bit too long. With a start, they sprang away from each other, simultaneously flushing as they realized just how many people were watching. "Kirito, we should begin," Heathcliff reminded them none-too-gently.

Giving him one last, brilliant smile of encouragement, Asuna turned away from her Kirito and headed to the edge of the arena. Whether it was due to anxiety or the loss of his touch, Asuna could not help but notice how chilly her hands felt the moment she let go of his hands. She took her seat uneasily in the audience next to the scruffy man sporting the red bandanna, who was currently making a fool of himself cheering hoarsely for her Kirito and spouting degrading comments at her commander in the same breath. She looked quizzically at him. What was his name again? Klane?

Kirito eyes trailed after his Asuna's retreating form and followed her into the stands. He would have preferred to keep staring, but a «Duel Request» unkindly sprang into existence to obstruct his view. He shook his head to clear his morose thoughts away. His finger had just reached out to hit the «Accept» button when he recalled something.

"Ah, wait," the duelist called out to Heathcliff. "Let me start the duel. I have a skill that keeps us alive even in «Full-Loss» mode."

The stoic man's eyebrows shot up briefly before falling back into its calculated position. "Truly?" Heathcliff queried as if he had just been told that swords were sharp. "Then please, initiate the duel. An opportunity to duel to one's heart's content is a rarity in these times."

The Duel-Wielder canceled Heathcliff's invitation in favor of sending his own. He double- and triple-checked that the… ahem, «Blessing of the Mahou Shoujo» was toggled on before confirming the duel invitation. It wouldn't do for either of the two strongest «Players» on Aincrad to perish because of negligence on his part in initiating the «Duel».

Come to think of it, he had never actually been in a «Player vs. Player Duel» ever since he first obtained the «Duel-Wielding» skill, barring that one time when the Clearers were attempting to subjugate «Laughing Coffin» and he was forced to exploit his newest-

The boy brought his thoughts to an abrupt halt. _Not going to think about it, not going to think about it, nononononononono-_

Asuna looked on worriedly from her seat, wondering why her Kirito was shaking like a leaf so suddenly. Was wearing the «KoB» regalia really so scary? If anything, she was sure her Kirito would look absolutely dashing in white and red, her true knight in shining armor… A droplet of drool escaped past the corner of her mouth unnoticed.

A great shout arose from the crowd, snapping Asuna out of her daydreams. A large, translucent window had graced the arena with its presence, boldly displaying a « **59** » in obnoxious Comic Sans. She flinched away on reflex, now understanding the audience's unexpected uproar. «SAO» did not normally use such a repulsive font – perhaps the special venue had altered the text formatting? She shielded her eyes from the atrocity and concentrated on her Kirito standing in the center of the stadium, sword held loosely to the side.

The Black Swordsman wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. He didn't want to lose this battle, but truth be told… he had no idea how he would defeat Heathcliff. «Duel-Wielding», despite its name, didn't give him any advantage in a «Duel». It was more of a data-gathering skill, perfect for the likes of Argo. He snorted. He could just picture Argo infiltrating his room as he slept, manipulating his hand to open his menu up and then salivating over terabytes of data gathered from the various «Duels» he had witnessed…

Actually, that was kind of disturbing. He refocused on his opponent.

Heathcliff presented an impregnable defense. A blood-red cuirass shone brilliantly underneath the digital sun, though its «Defense» parameter was easily surpassed by the heavy, cross-shaped kite shield that could freely maneuver to block all angles of attack. Thick, metal pauldrons emblazoned in red protected his shoulders from overhead swings, but they were dwarfed by the heavy, cross-shaped kite shield that could freely maneuver to block all angles of attack. To top it all off, an ornate, knightly longsword that was clearly maxed out harmonized perfectly with the heavy, cross-shaped kite shield that could freely maneu-

Kirito's eye twitched painfully. That heavy, cross-shaped kite shield that could freely maneuver to block all angles of attack was just too large for him to see anything else about his opponent. Did Heathcliff even have pants on? The irritated boy couldn't say for sure.

"Ten! Nine! Eight! …"

The audience began to chant as the final seconds began to count down for the duel proper as if it were New Year's Day. Kirito grinned wryly at the sight of Klein bouncing up and down as he conducted the spectators through the countdown. Somehow, the carefree samurai had two beer mugs in either hand, alcohol sloshing dangerously within at each bounce. Kirito's eyes tracked slightly to the left to find his Asuna sighing in exasperation at the buffoon. As if somehow sensing his attention, she looked up towards him.

The instant their gazes met, the world seemed to become completely silent for the two teenagers as they poured their feelings for each other through their eyes. Never mind the distance between their bodies, both virtual and real – for a brief moment, Kirito and Asuna managed to navigate through the labyrinthian web of electrical connections that comprised the entirety of the virtual world of «Aincrad» to share one heartfelt, unspoken conversation, defying the capacity of the «Cardinal System».

 _Want chicken tonight?_

 _Yeah!_

…

"… - _our! Three! TWO!_ …"

The two warriors snapped back to virtual reality with only seconds left before the battle. The Black Swordsman turned to face The Paladin, morale boosted from his momentary connection with his Asuna. _I don't need to worry about winning or losing_ , Kirito thought wisely. _Either way, Asuna will always be by my side!_

"ZEROOOO!"

Kirito instantly kicked off from the ground, covering the distance between himself and Heathcliff in a fraction of a second. The audience whooped in joy at the dramatic opening of the event, until they realized that the resulting dust cloud blocked their line of sight. Several seconds later, the cloud failed to vanish even as scattered clashes of steel and ambiguous battle cries emanated from somewhere within.

The entire crowd turned as one to glare at a single member of the audience.

"Uh… thank you for your patronage?" the «KoB» officer at the entrance ventured hesitantly, before turning around to flee the premises.

Asuna sighed.

* * *

« _Disengage_ »  
« _Active Skill: To activate, simply sheathe your sword_ »  
« _Allows the Wielder to immediately cancel any active duel that he is participating in_ »

"Tell me… how did you figure it out?" the commander of the «Knights of Blood» – no, «The GM» asked. Around him, the surviving Clearers fell to the floor as they became «Paralyzed» by the Will of God.

All but the Black Swordsman, the «Duel-Wielder», who currently held the attention of the infamous developer of «Sword Art Online». Said boy pointed at one of the braziers decorating the walls of the «Floor 75 Boss Room» – or more specifically, one of the brassieres draped around them.

"It was pure accident, actually… everyone reacted in some way when we came into the room and saw those…undergarments, except you were different. I thought I overheard you say something like, 'Damn that Kishida-san,'" Kirito admitted. "At first I thought I was imagining things, but eventually… uh, I just took a guess?" He scratched his head nervously.

Behind him, Asuna struggled heroically against the «Paralysis» to execute a facepalm.

Kayaba Akihiko nodded in resignation. "As I expected. It was a grievous mistake on my part. I was simply overwhelmed at the audacity of one of my designers, who so delighted in crass puns and whom I had repeatedly requested not to inject his own sick preferences into the game. He was of course fired, and all of the assets he had created were deleted, or so I had thought…"

Suddenly, his eyes widened in realization. "Of course! He was colluding with Sato-san! Those two men…" The «GM» stared pensively at the ground for several seconds, thumb and forefinger stroking his chin, as he attempted to unravel the conspiracy engineered by two of his subordinates. Abruptly, he recalled that he was surrounded by several dozen prone «Players» in a «Boss Room».

"My sincere apologies," Kayaba began with a curt bow. "I had strived to create the ideal world for man and woman alike, but it appears that I have failed to ensure that it would be so," he spoke to the «Players» on the ground.

"No, no, it was no problem," – "Don't mind," – "I was fine with it," several voices automatically responded with customary Japanese politeness. Several «Players» attempted to return the bow but were momentarily shocked that they couldn't move their bodies, until they remembered the situation at hand.

"HEY!" a pony-tailed lancer shouted hostilely. "We figured you out, so what are you gonna do now? Kill us all?"

"Indeed," Kayaba agreed softly, causing everyone to gasp. He turned to address the only other «Player» standing up. "Indeed, Kirito. Though your methods were… unimpressive, there is no denying the fact that you have seen through my ruse. As such, you deserve a reward." The Clearers sighed as one as they realized they had all misinterpreted his first word. None of them anticipated what «The GM» would say next, though.

"Kirito, «Duel» me."

Kirito looked at him blankly. "Come again?"

Kayaba adjusted his grip on his sword, entering a relaxed but still-dangerous combat stance. Suddenly, he was no more; in his place stood Heathcliff, commander of the «Knights of Blood», He-Who-Defends-Singly-Against-Floor-Bosses-While-Everyone-Else-Drinks-Potions. "«Duel» me," Heathcliff repeated. "If you win this round, I promise you that the game will be cleared immediately, and everyone will be released from «Sword Art Online»," he declared with utmost seriousness. "Alive."

The Black Swordsman blinked slowly as he contemplated the proposition. _It's a very tempting offer, but how would I win in the first place? I had my ass handed to me two weeks ago, and since then Heathcliff's been out clearing the «75_ _th_ _Floor» while I've been growing a pot belly with Asuna's home cooking…_

"What makes you think the outcome will be any different this time?" he asked.

"I have always imagined that the one holding the «Duel-Wielding» skill would be the one to defeat me on the «100th Floor»," the Paladin admitted with a hint of longing entering his voice, not quite answering Kirito's question. He hesitated momentarily, as if about to take back something that he had said, but with a shake of his head he continued his monologue. "I expect a stimulating battle from you today, especially now that the stakes are so high, unlike in that farce of a «Duel» two weeks ago."

Kirito felt his left eye twitch. "'Farce'…?" he quoted incredulously. _Something about what he just said really annoys me…_

Heathcliff laughed mirthlessly. "Come now, Kirito. Do you really expect me to believe that you were putting all of your effort into that shameful «Duel»?" He renewed his battle stance once more. "Now, show me your real strength, or turn aside if you have no interest in using this opportunity!"

The young man's eyes narrowed dangerously. _He basically just said I sucked!_ he thought furiously. His pride wounded whilst before his Asuna, the swordsman whipped out his trusty «Elucidator» belligerently, the sliding of metal creating a rasping sound that echoed around the «Boss Room».

"No, Kirito! Don't do it!" Asuna called out fearfully from the ground, but her voice came out slightly muffled as she was still stuck in a facepalm position.

"Asuna," the knight in black garb spoke seriously. "Don't stop me. This is a fight between men… no, a fight between «Gamers»." And without further preamble, The Black Swordsman charged.

" _Ku-!_ " Heathcliff let out a surprised grunt and reflexively took half a step backwards as Kirito shortened the distance between the two to mere inches, not completely prepared for the assault as he likely was expecting a bit more dialogue. _Perfect!_ Kirito thought. _He's out of position from my surprise attack, so if I can just slip in and disable his shield arm right away-_

Kirito brought his arms up for a two-handed overhead cleave. As expected, the heavy, cross-shaped kite shield that could freely maneuver to block all angles of attack rose to intercept his swing, but since Heathcliff was still flat-footed, the shield had yet a few more inches before it-!

"TOO SLOW!" the black-haired boy screamed victoriously. Abruptly shifting his posture, he released his left hand from his sword to grasp the top of the shield, forcing it downwards as he simultaneously flicked his right wrist to execute a sideways slash at Heathcliff's head.

A terrific flash of light burst outwards as steel met steel. To Kirito's horror, Heathcliff stood calmly with his alabaster sword repelling the obsidian «Elucidator» away from his head.

"Too slow," The Paladin remarked with a faint hint of mockery. "I saw that feint coming before you even took your first step." Then, with sheer strength, Heathcliff knocked aside Kirito's blade with his gargantuan shield, following the motion through with his entire body and to his sword arm as if to shear Kirito's legs off from his torso in a horizontal slice.

Kirito kicked off awkwardly from Heathcliff's shield in a desperate attempt to jump over the perilous blade, but twenty percent of his health bar did not escape unscathed. His knees crunched audibly as he landed roughly on his feet. Looking up quickly, Kirito could already see Heathcliff pressing forward with another attack.

"Duel «Heathcliff»!" the swordsman shouted. Immediately, a shining window appeared to obstruct Heathcliff's vision, giving Kirito an extra split second to roll to the right and chop at Heathcliff's exposed legs. But once again, the heavy, cross-shaped kite shield dropped instantly to block his attack. The commander of the «Knights of Blood» stepped back, the «Duel Window» left forgotten in the air.

"A crafty trick indeed, Kirito," Heathcliff complimented. "But you will need to do better than that. With a shield as large as mine, one cannot hope to survive in this world while relying only on sight." He settled into a defensive stance, monitoring Kirito carefully to catch even the slightest twitch of a muscle.

The «Duel-Wielder» gritted his teeth in irritation. _At this rate, the battle will end up just like last time! I'll have to use my «Duel-Wielding» skills to set a trap somehow, but it's going to be risky…_ He, too, stepped backwards defensively, waiting for Heathcliff to move even as he furiously searched for some sort of plan.

Seconds passed with not a muscle moving on either side. And then several more seconds. A few strangled gasps could be heard from around the room as a couple people failed to keep holding their breath in anticipation. _Well_ , Kirito mused. _If he's not coming after me… then I hope he doesn't mind if I open my menu for a bit to check out my skills_. Walking a few more steps backwards for insurance, the black-haired youth swapped his sword to his left hand so that he could flick open the «Menu».

The downed «Players» surrounding the two looked on incredulously at the audacity their hero was showing to the «Final Boss». And yet… it seemed that Kayaba did not mind?

 _Hmm_ … « _Uncontrollable Rage_ »… _and «Provoke»_ … _Maybe I can put these two together to confuse him?_ Kirito pondered as he flicked his way through his «Skill List», almost failing to realize that a new «Skill» had appeared. _Wait, what's this…? 'Di'-'su'-'en'-…_

 _«Disengage»_ … _?_

Looking up briefly to confirm that Heathcliff still wasn't attacking, he quickly pored through the short skill description. The boy's mouth dropped open as the «Skill's» implications hit him, a stream of saliva pouring out unattractively.

 _This… this is…!_

"Have you stalled for enough time, Kirito?" the blood-red knight called out disdainfully. "I expected better of you than to treat this «Duel» with such contempt."

Hastily formulating his plan, Kirito dismissed his «Skill Menu» and looked back up to respond. "Sorry for the wait," he apologized. " _Now_ I'm ready to fight."

The young swordsman sheathed his sword behind his back but kept his hand on the hilt, then settled comfortably into a ready stance. Again, the two combatants stood stock still for several seconds – one eyeing the other cautiously for sudden movements, the other scrutinizing his opponent in an attempt to determine what kind of trap could possibly be laid by sheathing one's sword.

And then...

Kirito reached down to his belt with his left hand and popped out a «Health Potion».

Heathcliff widened his eyes in bewilderment, then hurriedly charged forward to prevent Kirito from recovering the hard-lost «Hit Points» that he had embarrassingly lost during the opening salvo. Despite expecting «The Paladin» to react belligerently to his taunt, Kirito still couldn't help but inhale sharply on reflex as the indomitable knight burst forward, causing a few drops of potion to go down the wrong way. He spluttered, costing him several precious fractions of a second.

The Paladin's sword was mere inches away from bestowing upon him its divine grace before Kirito regained his wits enough to pull out out his sword from its sheath on his back. He quickly shifted his eyes away from imminent danger to focus randomly on a man in the background wearing a blue cuirass, pouring all of his willpower into _dueling_ this… _this… Clearer that I don't even know the name of but I really should!_ And then the silver edge impacted against his chest.

But instead of slicing through fabric and soft flesh, Heathcliff's sword abruptly reversed direction the instant it touched the young hero's cloak, throwing Heathcliff off balance. Reveling in the never-in-a-lifetime look of abject shock on his stoic adversary's face, Kirito capitalized on the opportunity to deliver the finishing blow. A guttural roar ripped out from deep within his belly as he pressed forward.

" _UWOOOOOOO!_ "

Like a harbinger of promised oblivion, «The Elucidator» struck forward with the velocity of a meteor at Heathcliff's exposed side. The black edge sliced through the air with no resistance, up until its fell edge touched the blood-red armor and abruptly changed directions, rebounding with such force that Kirito spun around in the opposite direction several times before he lost balance.

"… huh?"

Both swordsmen toppled ungracefully to the floor. The onlookers looked on with shocked expressions, copious volumes of drool collecting on the floor.

The black-haired boy blinked slowly, pushing himself up off the floor as he mentally kicked himself in the butt. In his eagerness to counter after successfully baiting Heathcliff into the trap, he forgot to cancel the «Duel» so that he was allowed to inflict «Damage». He sheepishly sheathed his sword, then frantically took it back out again to parry a flurrying assault from his opponent, this time initiating a «Duel» against Heathcliff accidentally.

"Very curious," Heathcliff remarked between two strikes of his blade. Kirito simply answered with a manly grunt before returning the favor. "But your technique appears to be woefully lacking." The steel tank emphasized his point by slamming the «Duel-Wielder» with his shield, toppling his opponent head-over-heels. The battle would have ended right then and there with his follow-up attack had he not misjudged the weight of the black-haired swordsman, sending his opponent too far. With dexterity befitting a Solo Clearer, Kirito sheathed his sword mid-tumble and unsheathed it once more, this time focusing on a short, blonde-haired man sporting «DPS» gear that happened to cross his vision, just in time for Heathcliff's sword to bounce off his chest harmlessly.

This time before attacking, Kirito remembered to sheathe his sword to cancel the «Duel» and then focus on Heathcliff and sheathe his sword again and re-sheathe it, so that he could re-unsheathe it and then un-un-sheathe it once more so that… _How did it go again?_ During the poor boy's moment of confusion, Heathcliff closed the distance between the two and shredded judiciously through enchanted fabric. Kirito reeled backwards from the force of the blow, his «Health Bar» shadowing his trajectory.

"Engaging the «Final Boss» of «Sword Art Online» without even perfecting your skills… you are a disgrace to the way of the Swordsman, Kirito!"

Kirito gritted his teeth, beads of perspiration accumulating on his brow, as Heathcliff ridiculed him while simultaneously repelling several of Kirito's powerful thrusts with his heavy, cross-shaped kite shield that could freely maneuver to block all angles of Kirito's attacks. This time, a lucky sheathe-unsheathe-sheathe-unsheathe combo performed purely by accident scored him a hit around the impenetrable shield, but with a desperate twist to the side, Heathcliff managed to mitigate the damage to a superficial cut. «The Paladin» channeled his rotational energy into a devastating horizontal sweep, yet with a few hasty steps forward, Kirito was able to follow Heathcliff's turning blind spot. His second strike materialized an angry red gash in the equally red armor, sending the tank's «HP Bar» out of the green.

A few gasps escaped from the crowd around them. Such was Heathcliff's defensive prowess that this was the first time several of them had ever seen The Impenetrable Wall take direct damage, let alone having less than 50% «HP». A shy voice croaked from somewhere among the onlookers.

"… g-, g-… GO KIRITOOOOOO-hE-" the shy teenager shouted hoarsely, stopping abruptly as his voice cracked unexpectedly at the end, but already the morale amongst the Clearers surged upwards.

"Yeah, that's right… we can win this… we can win today!"

"Don't lose, Kirito!"

"You bring down that piece of shit, Beater!"

Startled by the sudden support from the sidelines, Kirito failed to activate «Uncontrollable Rage» in time to bypass a vicious counterattack from the ensorcelled longsword in Heathcliff's hand. Something abruptly shifted to an ominous red color in the corner of his vision. He backflipped frantically to distance himself from his foe, but Heathcliff easily kept step to maintain the deadly pressure.

"You were a fool to accept my challenge with that half-hearted mentality!" Heathcliff disparaged as he attempted to knock Kirito into the floor.

"SHUT UP!" Kirito roared back. "I just got this «Skill» a few minutes ago, you murdering bastard!" Successfully trapping his foe once more with a «Duel» defense, the Black Swordsman quickly canceled the «Duel» and closed in on the stunned figure to smite him with righteous anger. The «Elucidator» bypassed the heavy, cross-shaped kite shield, maneuvering deftly around it to soak itself in Heathcliff's blood. But to Kirito's horror, the black edge found itself edged off course by its antithesis, the silver longsword wielded by «The Paladin». Kirito stumbled backwards, his balance thrown into disarray.

"Then there is No Way that you can defeat me in your current state, Kirito!" Heathcliff bellowed with a sense of finality. Without warning, «The Paladin's» sword glowed bright blue.

 _What! A «Sword Skill»?_ Never anticipating this turn of events, Kirito was caught flat-footed with his «Elucidator» halfway down its sheath even as as Heathcliff seemed to rocket forwards, sword ready to cleave him in half from his right side. His eyes flicked to the top left to confirm what he already knew. His «Health Bar» would never stand a chance.

Gray eyes tracked the fell blade as it sailed smoothly through the air, drifting closer and closer to his heart with unmatched beauty in the simplicity of its arc.

 _I see_ , Kirito realized with unexpected calmness. _So this is the end_. He only wished that he could see the bright face of his Asuna once more before he returned to real life. And then to the afterlife afterwards. Even a glimpse of her long, silky hair would have been a nice parting gift.

 _Come to think of it, how am I seeing that gorgeous chestnut hair right now?_

Kirito's thoughts abruptly caught up to the present. The steel edge tore into Asuna's uniform and through her torso. Crimson red polygons erupted from her chest, signifying a «Critical Hit». The girl flopped backwards into Kirito, who hurriedly caught her before she fell to the ground. Somehow, a heavy, cross-shaped kite shield was encased within her arms, no longer able to maneuver freely.

"How…"

Two voices spoke at once, even as the dying swordswoman's «HP» drained away at a rapid pace. Kirito, with his arms wrapped protectively yet helplessly around the girl – Heathcliff, standing awkwardly before the two of them, looking especially unusual with his ever-present shield wrested free from his outstretched arm – neither could fathom how this tragedy could have occurred.

Kayaba was the first to recover.

"Incredible," the «GM» whispered in wonder. "Not only did she free herself of «Absolute Paralysis», but she somehow managed to cross the distance in the fraction of a second between my using «Cross Sweep» and the skill landing a hit."

The young boy paid his words no heed, so intent was he on spending the last few moments that he could with his beloved Asuna.

"Asuna…" he started to speak, but the young woman interrupted him.

"Kirito-kun," she said with energy unfitting her mortal state. "You have one more chance to defeat Kayaba. I took away his shield, so it should be easy now," she explained, tossing the great kite shield off to the side to disappear into the lonely, dark corners of «Aincrad».

Kirito could only feel a torrent of tears starting to run down his cheeks. So selfless, to sacrifice her life to guarantee his success and secure the escape of all the survivors of «SAO»… what did he do to deserve her love?

"A-Asuna…" he repeated, this time too moved to speak properly. The woman in question's «Health Bar» contained but a handful of red pixels left.

"Kirito-kun," she interrupted again, this time more urgently.

"Promise me that you-"

The last pixels of her «Health Bar» vanished.

Asuna's figure disappeared from before him.

And reality was rudely shoved into Kirito's face.

« _CONGRATULATIONS_! Player Kirito has won the Duel!»

The startled boy stared uncomprehendingly at the «Duel Window» now blocking his vision. _H-... huh?_ His thought processes tottered along haltingly. Didn't «Players» normally explode into polygons when they died? He couldn't recall any instances where a «Message Window» popped up instead.

Something shifted in his arms. _Wait… If I'm holding a body right now, then that means…_ Kirito reached up to press «Confirm» and was rewarded with his Asuna's equally astonished face.

"I… I'm alive?" she whispered, touching her body as if to ensure that she was not a ghost. Abruptly, she realized that she only had 1 «HP» left. She hastily reached into her «Quick-Slot» to materialize a «Health Crystal».

"But… when did…?" one of the onlookers uttered as he attempted to straighten out the sequence of events in his head.

Kirito himself was similarly confused, until he accidentally stabbed himself with his sword while scratching his head in thought. He stared perplexedly at «The Elucidator» in his hand. _Of course!_ He realized. _I must have unsheathed it to catch Asuna when she fell into me, and since I happened to be looking at her at the same time…_ He breathed a quiet prayer to whatever Power was out there now, watching over them.

"Unfathomable..."

The Black Swordsman was reminded of Kayaba's presence by his words of astonishment. With the man's stoic face, however, Kirito had no clue just what was going on in the mad developer's brain. Taking a moment to calm his mind, he slowly stood up with Asuna at his side. Nodding once to himself, he determinedly put one foot forward. And then another.

"Kayaba," he said gravely. "You said that there's no way I could defeat you." The young man now stood face-to-face with the game developer that he had once respected, worshipped even, many years ago. Still, Kayaba did not move. If anything, he seemed… resigned? Kirito shook his head free of such thoughts and refocused on the matter at hand.

"But you're wrong," he stated with certainty. Behind him, though he couldn't see her, Kirito could just tell that his Asuna was nodding, supporting him completely in his final action. He raised his «Elucidator» high above his head and took a deep breath.

"«There Is But One Ultimate Way!»"

The «Elucidator» came crashing down with black vengeance.

"…"

The «GM» sighed wordlessly, as the last quanta of his «HP» drained away. With only seconds left, he finally spoke.

"I just wish…" he murmured morosely. "I just wish that you could all have experienced the last 25 «Floors» of «Aincrad»."

He closed his eyes. "The best parts of the game are always saved for last, after all…"

And with those parting words, Kayaba Akihiko vanished from «Aincrad».

* * *

Warm rays wrapped the floating castle of «Aincrad» in an amber glow. Glittering shards could be seen dematerializing from the foundation of the megastructure.

The black-haired boy spoke up.

"Why, Kayaba?"

The man in question carefully placed finely-sculpted hands within the pockets of his lab coat before answering.

"Why, indeed?" he spoke. "After two long years, I have forgotten why I created this Death Game. Was it some fanta-"

"No, that's not what I meant," Kirito interrupted. "Why «Duel-Wielding», and not «Dual Wielding»?"

Kayaba Akihiko stared quietly at the black-haired boy for several seconds, then gave a dry chuckle.

"Did you know, Kirito," he said softly as he turned back towards «Aincrad» crumbling below them. "Every single «Sword Skill» in «Sword Art Online» was performed in excruciating precision by a true Master of the art in real life?" He bowed his head and closed his eyes, as if recalling a memory.

"Yes, from the humblest «Horizontal» to the complex seven-hit «Deadly Sins»… all of them were performed by a Master and recorded in detail by «Cardinal», the principal AI in charge of regulating all «Mob Intelligence», environmental events, and the core principles of the combat system."

Kirito nodded. "I heard about that several times in various articles before the launch date," he confirmed to his Asuna, who was listening on with wide eyes. "A lot of people were excited about learning real sword techniques using «SAO» as a proxy." He turned back to Kayaba, an inkling of a suspicion now forming in his mind. "Then… «Dual Wielding» would have been…"

The game developer confirmed his train of thought. "Correct," he said with a hint of sadness. "I could not find a single person that could perform the magnificent art of «Dual Wielding»."

"Huh?" Asuna spoke up in confusion. "But… isn't there that kendo style… Nito… Nitoryuu?"

"Yes, as expected of the sub-commander of the «Knights of Blood»," Kayaba acknowledged. "But that style utilizes two different weapons in tandem, whereas my desired «Dual Wielding» skill would have used two longswords, wielded equally between the two hands. In addition, «Sword Art Online» is predominantly Western. No one I could find had the experience to wield two Western longswords with the required finesse for what I had envisioned."

Now understanding why «Dual Wielding» never became a «Sword Skill» in «SAO», Kirito bowed his head in mourning for the deceased «Sword Skill» that never saw the light of the virtual sun. Then he recalled something else.

"But then… where did «Duel-Wielding» come from?" he asked.

Kayaba snorted uncharacteristically, though he still made it seem refined somehow. "Indeed, where did it come from? I am not too sure myself, but I have my theories." He folded his arms behind his back.

"You see, Kirito, I was not satisfied with the conclusion that «Dual Wielding» was impossible in the world of «Sword Art Online». After all, as young Asuna has recently proven in our final battle, anything is possible in «Aincrad»." He turned his head upwards. "All I had to do, then, was ask «Cardinal» to figure it out."

Kirito's eyes widened in admiration. «Cardinal» was the premiere AI, crafted by his idol, Kayaba Akihiko. What could go wrong?

"I asked her to comb through all fictional accounts of heroes wielding two longswords to fashion unique «Sword Skills» suitable for the game. Allocating this task to «Cardinal» opened up an exciting possibility for me, too." Kayaba turned back to regard Kirito with a serious stare. "As I had mentioned earlier, I intended the «Dual Wielder» to be the Hero that defeats me in the «Ruby Palace». Therefore, I decided not to supervise «Cardinal» in her research, such that when the final battle came, I would have no foreknowledge as to how the «Sword Skill» would function. With this setup, I would be required to rely completely on my wits as a «Swordsman»."

Then he shook his head ruefully. "I never expected «Cardinal» to fall prey to a simple homophone."

Immediately, Kirito's respect for his idol came crashing down. A childish portion of his mind attempted to grab at the rapidly disintegrating fragments, but to no avail. _I went through so much crap for this stupid «Duel-Wielding» skill… and it was all because Kayaba didn't do some simple quality assurance?_

"Y-… you mean…" the dejected teenager began, but Kayaba cut him off.

"Kirito!" the scientist intoned with such severity that Asuna automatically snapped to attention despite not being in the conversation. "That final battle was a mess! I am deeply disappointed in your performance today." Despite having no relation to this man, the young boy couldn't help but hang his head in shame. "Relying on a fluke, especially from another person, is against the spirit of the swordsman!" the only adult in the group continued to reprimand.

The «GM's» body began to fade away, prompting him to speak more hastily. "If you find «Duel-Wielding» unsuitable, then you must discover the true art of «Dual Wielding» someday!"

The words grew softer – there was not but a shade left. "Show me your inner strength!"

And then he was gone.

The two figures stood silently for a while, contemplating the parting message, one that could even be considered a will, of the the now deceased «Creator». The final exchange felt somewhat out of character of the impassive, taciturn man that they knew before then, a feeling that compelled them to think more deeply about his words than otherwise.

Below them, «Aincrad» continued to crumble away as it was «Deleted». A dazzling waterfall caught Kirito's eye as it disintegrated into a fine, iridescent mist, and then into nothingness. The young couple leaned into each other, Asuna's head coming to rest comfortably onto Kirito's shoulder. He casually wrapped his arm around to hold her closer, allowing the two to share a peaceful moment simply watching the peaceful destruction occurring below. As Kirito's eyes landed on the «Ruby Palace» peaking from out of «Aincrad's» peak, the woman at his side whispered.

"… « _There Is But One Ultimate Way_ » …"

Asuna picked her head up so that she could look into her husband's charcoal eyes. "What does it mean?" she asked softly.

Kirito blinked back at her. "Huh, that?" He scratched his head and looked sideways. "Well, that's, um… it was a line from… somewhere…"

The girl's face lit up. "From a book, you mean?" she asked excitedly. "What was it called? It was a pretty cool line, but…" she lightly rested a finger on her cheek as she trailed off. "I don't think it even made sense in that context when you said it. It makes me wonder what the original source was."

The black-haired boy's hands suddenly became very sweaty. "Oh, oh yeah, I think it was a book, gee, what was it called again…?" He trailed off and hoped that she wouldn't prompt him to continue "trying" to remember. How was he supposed to tell his wife that it was the name of the only route of an eroge he had played where the protagonist could land his harem?

Luckily, a different train of thought rolled to the fore in the innocent girl's head. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "I almost forgot! What's your name?"

"Kirito," the confused boy answered automatically. Then his eyes widened in realization. "Oh! Um, my name is… um, Kazuto," he said hesitantly, as if trying to recall a past life, which was accurate in some respects. "Kazuto," he repeated more firmly. "Kirigaya Kazuto."

The chestnut-haired girl's eyes shone brilliantly as she tried his name on her lips. "Kazuto… it's…" She turned her gaze to look directly into his eyes. "It's very cute!" she announced so suddenly and with such passion that the boy in question instantly morphed into a tomato. "My name is Asuna. Yuuki Asuna."

"Asuna…" This time, it was Kirito's first time to try out her real name with his mouth. He found it remarkably comfortable to use, until he realized just why. "You used the same handle as your real name?" he asked incredulously. "That's… that's, you're not supposed to… well, it's bad to use your real name!"

This time it was Asuna's turn to blend into the sunset. "Oh! … I didn't know…" she said softly, glancing side to side. She fidgeted with the hem of her skirt for a moment, before speaking up once more.

"Um… when we… you know, wake up…" It seemed to Kirito that she was struggling to say her next words, what with her looking at the invisible floor and wiggling nervously, hands held protectively in front of her. "I want to always be by your side, so... when we wake up..." She looked back up at him.

"Will you teach me how to play more mm-moo's?"

The black-haired boy blinked and looked at her strangely. "More what?"

And then they were abruptly logged off as «Sword Art Online» sent its final packet of data.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Things so match for weeding this fan fig! I hope you enjoyed it at least as much as I did!

Ah, but there is yet one final set of words to detail:

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

 **Ally** vs **Alley** – These two words have different pronunciations, but only the latter's spelling makes it unambiguous. Thus, I often see people writing "ally" when they mean "alley." **Ally** is someone on your side in a conflict. **Alley** is a path between two buildings.

 **Quiet** vs **Quite** – Um… I would describe this mistake the same as I did "exited vs excited" in the previous chapter. **Quiet** describes a low audio volume. **Quite** is an adverb that means "considerable." Oftentimes it is interchangeable with "rather," despite there in fact being a difference between the two words…

 **Viscous** vs **Vicious** – They look pretty similar, no doubt about it. Additionally, for those who are not familiar with these words, the "sc" combination can in fact be pronounced as "see" (recall descent vs decent). **Viscous** describes a fluid that flows very slowly; a classic example is ketchup. **Vicious** is what most people intend to write in combat scenes, describing violence and harshness. Please don't say that "the Drunken Ape attacked Silica viscously" … unless you're aiming for a certain genre.

 **Discrete** vs **Discreet** – Very, very common mistake. Rarely do I see the spelling "discreet" when that is the author's intention on this site. **Discrete** means distinct, separate. **Discreet** means being circumspect, quiet and inconspicuous.

 **Brazier** vs **Brassiere** – A comical mistake. Chances are, if you made this mistake, you're a single guy. A **Brazier** is a container with coal inside that you light on fire. Basically a fancy torch (American torch). A **Brassiere** is _not_ something you should light on fire at any time.

 **Faint vs Feint** – If you play Pokémon, you should be familiar with both of these words. To **faint** is to lose consciousness, though in the context I used it in, it was an adjective that meant "slight." To **feint** is to mislead your opponent into thinking you will take a certain action that you actually do not intend to perform.

 **Sheer** vs **Shear** – I think mixing up these two is less unacceptable than most of the others, due to their rarity. **Shear** means to cut shorter. **Sheer** means pure, alone, in the context I used it. So for example, the phrase "with sheer willpower" could be restated as "with pure willpower," or "by willpower alone."

 **Pore** vs **Pour** – I also find this to be one of the less unacceptable mistakes. **Pouring** is the act of making some liquid fall via gravity. **Poring** is studying something.

 **Principle** vs **Principal** – It seems that elementary school kids know the difference, but after getting into high school the latter word no longer exists...? **Principle** is a law of reality, or the core aspect of something. **Principal** is the top man of a school as a noun, and its adjectival form is closely related: preeminent, first.

 **Peak** vs **Peek** – These are both common words, and thankfully mixing these up is not too common. **Peak** is the top. **Peek** is the act of looking through a small opening, or for a short time.

I also have a few others that I unfortunately could not include into this fanfic :(.

 **Queue** vs **Cue** – These words are rather rare (compared to the others in this list at least), so I guess that might explain why they are mixed up. **Queue** is a line, the kind that you hate when you're at a cafeteria. **Cue** is a signal.

 **Insight** vs **Incite** – I rarely see either of these words actually, yet the mix up seems rather common when I do read them. **Insight** is intuition, the ability to perceive the way things really are. To **incite** is to cause something to occur.

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

 **Fanfic Recommendation** :

 _The One Ultimate Way_ by _LighthawkKnight_. A continuation of _There is but One Ultimate Way_ , which means Alicization arc spoilers. It's an abandoned fic, but it still has 30K words which is quite a significant amount to read (it's longer than this one)! Thus, q̶u̶i̶e̶t̶ quite a few of the major plot points are covered.


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